Simon Weber

Bringing dudes fitness routines from the 1990s into the 2020s.

[Simon Weber @SimonWeberFit]

@IAMWILLNICHOLLS You will own nothing
(Your job will get replaced by AI
You will give us your soul
You will provide KYC)

and you’ll be happy
(You will consume the ai erotica)

[Simon Weber @SimonWeberFit]

@lawrencekingyo If you want a churrascaria style steakhouse in the tri-state area, Newark is the place to go. If you survived the airport, you can survive downtown.

[Charlie Kirk @charliekirk11]

You can tell a lot about a person by how they react when someone dies.

[Master Metabolism @lowmegatron]

You break fast or fast breaks you.

[Simon Weber @SimonWeberFit]

@bioenergeticmel No Epstein list but hey Coke is gonna have real sugar again

[Simon Weber @SimonWeberFit]

On the contrary, if you wanna live just keeping your head above water, try to save on everything and spend as little as possible every chance you get.

[Lawrence King @lawrencekingyo]

If you want motivation

Go spend a week in your dream City

Rent a room in a 5 star hotel for a few days

Eat at places above your pay grade

Go actually live it and you will never want it to end

[Simon Weber @SimonWeberFit]

*vocal fry*
this is why I looove Europe.

[MatrixMysteries @MatrixMysteries]

You eat bread, cheese, and pasta every day in Europe and feel alive.

In America, the same food makes you sick. And no one talks about why.

Here are 11 American foods banned in other countries:🧵

1. Bread (made with Azodicarbonamide)

[Simon Weber @SimonWeberFit]

@celestialbe1ng

[Simon Weber @SimonWeberFit]

This is the most Peaty form of execution

[Out of Context Human Race @NoContextHumans]

One of the worst punishments in human history

[Simon Weber @SimonWeberFit]

@dannyroddy @JulianaLung A few times a week I’ve been trying about 2mg at night, it helps but I get super groggy in the morning after.

I’m adding 0.5mg in the morning to help with seasonal allergies. So far I don’t notice the sleepiness hitting me after the smaller morning dose.

[Simon Weber @SimonWeberFit]

I had a phase where I used to eat raw cookie dough out of a tube so I can definitely relate.

[⚡️🌞 Sol Brah 🌞🐬 @SolBrah]

my favorite fast food

raw ground beef out the packet

And a slab of raw buttah

Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it

What’s your fave snack on the go?

[Simon Weber @SimonWeberFit]

@SolBrah Semen retention is something you do when you don’t have a wife you’re trying to impregnate.

[Simon Weber @SimonWeberFit]

@HansAmato @589fatcat Scrotal or another location?

[Simon Weber @SimonWeberFit]

@HansAmato Is DHT what stimulates lower tone of voice too?

[Simon Weber @SimonWeberFit]

i've been peating for about 9 month now... experimenting and shit (not a scientists)

finally kinda dailing it in

[Simon Weber @SimonWeberFit]

@dannyroddy Still can’t get my wife to just let me drink my Mexican Coke in peace.

[Simon Weber @SimonWeberFit]

this girl’s gonna be a lot fatter and a lot less pretty if she keeps drinking beer

[The Figen @TheFigen_]

The lady of beer.

[Simon Weber @SimonWeberFit]

@dannyroddy Is it normal for a thermometer to read different temps if used 3 times within like 2 min?

I’m annoyed at my thermometers and wish i could find a good old fashioned mercury-filled one lol

[GRITCULT @GRITCULT]

Gm have a blessed Sunday. You have much to live for.

[Simon Weber @SimonWeberFit]

@SBakerMD My man Dr. Baker clearly doesn’t understand how to use this meme