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[The Standard Digital @StandardKenya]

Read The Standard 8 days a week!

📲 Subscribe today (Website): https://t.co/oZSRZG82yj
📲 Read the ePaper: https://t.co/2t4BmyBN1h

#TheBold
#FactsFirst

[Dennis @kimaniii___]

I beg to differ, this is what Tao majioni get you😂😂

[Eric @amerix]

A man's end month:

"Daddy, new shoes for church. Mummy said the one I wanted was 2,000."

"Hello dear, also, don't forget to deposit Ray's fees tomorrow. It is 18,000 for Grade 5 pupils."

"Hello Dad, the WiFi isn't working. I have an online lesson for Research Writing this evening. Send 6,500 to pay for its reconnection."

"Hello parents, the Grade 10 Yellow will be going for a Mathematics trip to the Museum of Illusion, Nairobi. The cost of the trip per student is 15,000."

"Boss, the tree on the lower side fell on the cowshed. Fundi repaired it. Send 4,000."

"Hello, dear, my dad's monthly diabetes clinic is tomorrow. Send me 7,000 to fuel the car."

"Baba Ray, good afternoon. Ray took three bunches of bananas for cooking yesterday. The Bill is 1500."

"Bro, the vet treated mum's cow. I paid 100, the balance is 2,900."

"Boss, the balance on the previous repair of the sockets and bulbs was 6,000. Please send me so that I can pay the electrical shop."

"Bro, my husband was severely injured last night after a fight. We are fundraising for his head surgery. As my elder bro, send 3,000."

"Hello, sir, James, the janitor in the maintenance department, lost his wife. We are fundraising. Send 1,000."

"Boss, I will not be there on Wednesday, so bring your car for service tomorrow morning. The bill is 8,000."

"Hello, cousin, I was called for an interview but I don't have fare. Please send me 1,000 for fare and lunch."

"Praise God, brethren, Kevin's wedding committee will sit tomorrow. As the chairman, you will kickstart the fundraising with 25,000."

"Good evening, your gym subscription will end tomorrow. Please pay 2,500 to continue with your fitness classes without interruption. Thank you."

"Hi, I need a favour. My gas went off when I had just put the veggies on cooker. Please send me 3,000. I will refund you tomorrow."

To be a MAN is to bear responsibility for all things.
#MasculinitySaturday

[Kimuzi @Kimuzi_]

Hello Stranger, Called Jaymoh, allow me to tell you a story. When I was 26 years, I owned only an extension(yes, for electricity), by 27 years 9 months, I had a million in my account. By 28 years 5 months, I had less than 100k. By 30 years, I had built my mum a house.

A thread.

[Freddy🇰🇪 @Frednjerii]

My friend made 10 million last month.
He is 26
No Degree.He is an Automotive Engineering dropout.
First salary: 24k.
Last month: 10million Kenyan shillings.
What changed?
He stopped looking for jobs.
And started selling his dad's land.

[khaleesi🧍🏽‍♀️ @shelovesore]

Colon (:) introduces something. You usually use it when what comes after is a list, or an explanation, or even a reveal.
An example is “she had one rule: never apologize” or “this is a list of things you should get from the market: eggs, tomatoes…”
It’s also used as the eyes in a smiley face :)

Semicolon (;) connects two complete thoughts that are related but could stand alone as separate sentences. It’s stronger than a comma but softer than a full stop.
An example is “Frank never apologized; he didn't think he was wrong”

It’s also used as the eyes in a winking face ;)

[TP Pillay @TP_Pillay]

Dating in your 30’s is crazy because you’re getting hit on by women in their 20’s and 40’s and they all ask for money.

[🐥 @nyarr037]

I have watched kameivana na shell club, mothers day edition and I have cried 😭😭💔
I thought maternity was free😭😭😭in public 😭😭 hospitals 😭💔💔
Now this mom lost her baby on deliver y😭😭 but her bill is 41k 😭😭
Every budget year mimi husikia 7billion - health
Hukuwa ya?

[xo muthoni🌸 @Miss_muthoni21]

🚨 URGENT: MISSING CHILD ALERT 🚨

My son,Nollan Kinyua Kamau is missing.He was last seen in the company of his nanny around kamakis area.

Please help bring my baby back home .Contact person 0115265637/0101029704

Plead RT to help share the word.

[Wow, He’s Tsonga! @_aboihasnoname]

I’m not saying MEN shouldn't provide, but make sure you provide for a "thank you so much” woman and not an "as you should" woman.

[Crazy Kennar @crazy_kennar]

CURRENCIES IN DIFFERENT COUNTRIES 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[Anish Moonka @anishmoonka]

The research behind this is wild. Your kitchen sponge has the same density of bacteria as human stool. German scientists found 54 billion bacterial cells per cubic centimeter inside used sponges in 2017. Yours is sitting right next to your sink.

Sponges are the perfect home for bacteria. They are wet, warm, full of food bits, and never fully dry between washes. Across all 14 sponges, the team found 362 different types of bacteria. The most common species include strains that can make people sick.

In 2011, the public health group NSF International swabbed 30 things in 22 American homes. The dirtiest object in the entire house was the kitchen sponge. It was dirtier than the toilet seat. 75% of the sponges tested positive for the kind of bacteria that includes Salmonella and E. coli.

Microwaving does not clean the sponge. The 2017 study found microwaved sponges had higher amounts of the smelliest, most harmful bacteria. Heat kills the weak strains. The strong ones survive and refill the sponge with no competition for space.

A 2021 Norwegian study compared kitchen sponges to dish brushes. In brushes, Salmonella was wiped out within three days because the bristles dry out between uses. In sponges, bacteria climbed to about a billion cells per sponge. The lead researcher told CNN that one kitchen sponge can hold more bacteria than there are people on Earth.

Three things actually work. Switch to a dish brush, because brushes dry fully between uses while sponges stay wet for hours. Replace your sponge every one to two weeks. Never leave it sitting wet in the sink. Norway and Denmark already do this by default, but most other countries don't.

The detergent is fine. Your sponge is the problem.

[Sophia ❣️ @KeruboSk]

I missed my flight in Nairobi once because of traffic on Mombasa Road.
Like fully missed it. I got to the airport sweaty, exhausted, dragging my suitcase like it personally betrayed me.
I already knew there was no chance, but I still ran to the counter hoping for mercy.
The woman checked her screen, looked at me, then said, “You were the last passenger.”
I laughed a little because what else do you do at that point?
Then she lowered her voice and said, “The plane is still on the ground.”
Next thing I know this airport employee is SPEED WALKING me through the terminal like we’re in an action movie.
Security waved me through, another worker grabbed my carry-on to help me run, and I’m apologizing to literally everyone while fighting for my life.
I got to the gate completely out of breath.
The guy scanning boarding passes looked at me and said, “Eh, Nairobi traffic. We understand.”
People on the plane actually clapped when I walked in looking half dead.
I have never respected airport workers more in my life. Big up to them.

[kiki @ashleik_]

Ashley from Kenya, this is my art.

Created in dots.

[Ja Loka @_fels1]

One of the agents from ICEALION has been persuading me to take a life insurance for two years now. However, every time I log in to this app, I see clients complaining about their inability and unwillingness to settle claims. Now I am wondering how they will pay me when I am dead yet they can't pay those who are alive.

[Alex Njenga @alexnjenga]

Late update.
A big thank you to the X family about my grievances with @ICEALION .
They have shared a payment remittance RTGS of Ksh 7,800,000.
I will make a confirmation tomorrow once the funds actually reflect in the bank account .

[Kevin Kiarie Ruhiu @KelvinuhK]

Special Thanks To my Family for Standing with me Through Out The Journey and For Receiving me at the airport Today.

[Alex Njenga @alexnjenga]

Good afternoon @ICEALION kindly process my claim (KDV 187J) of Ksh 7,800,000. I’m tired of the everyday lies from Magdalene Nekesa of the claims department.

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Jimmy My bro,this is not how it works but I appreciate the Endorsement. NIS does not need my little cameras to monitor you. They have Safaricom,they have google,they have Intelligence cooperations with china,japan,korea,israel and US who manufacture these cameras. They will access your TV,your fridge,your dildo,your toothbrush and even your car,if they want to.

That is why we only supply American owned Camera brands to american businesses and embassies and only chinese brand cameras to chinese businesses and embasies. Its the rule of the thumb. I am not a hacker,just a businessman and engineer in the homesecurity industry.

Now you go and tell gachagua we are still not boarding. Inaonekana fujo yangu imeleta noma huko whatsapp group eh? Angalia nanii!