Mitch McBride

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

@didodi_tweet @VFlince And yet it somehow managed to suck less cocks than MOS

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

@edgytwelvie @erinthornemusic @Idubbbz This chain of events has got my sides hurting 🤣

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

@JacobBerray “You cannot leave me.”

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

Man, I was an ignorant, little mook back in 2019. Brown sugar pop tarts are fantastic, I was completely wrong.

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

Listen, you’re entitled to your own opinions, but if you’re gonna go around saying brown sugar is your favorite pop tart flavor, then we’re not gonna get along.

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

Just look at the fucker. Just waiving down at us commoners.

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

I can’t sleep right now because I found out about the Little Bill Thanksgiving Parade balloon and I want it.

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

@SalisburyNCPD Just saw this article from a couple of years ago. Did you fucking retards really just try to speak out on domestic violence when you don’t hold yourselves or your officers accountable?

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

@PsychotheOwl1 @Caddicarus

[Luke @qLxke_]

I HAVE IMPORTANT INFORMATION, YADDLE SPEAKS NORMALLY IN THE NEW STAR WARS SHOW WHICH MEANS YODA IS JUST A GOOFY LITTLE GOBLIN TALKING IN RIDDLES FOR THE FUN OF IT

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

Facebook: see all of the people who you know that are getting married/having a kid/bought their new house/just got their masters/just got honorably discharged/started their own small business/yelling at their relatives with opposing politics/

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

@MCUSource I pray every night that this movie is terrible so that all four of the movies are not, in fact, Fantastic.

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

Downtown Portland is becoming a real life Rust Server.

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

As my final act of presidency, I shall make a law that any blasphemer who claims to be the second coming of Christ must be crucified and resurrect themselves to prove it.

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

Any body got da hookup for that purple flurp shit??👀

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

Airports should make smoking areas similar to those dog parks that are only chain link fence and some grass and have them accessible inside the terminal, but away from everyone else. Maybe put them near gate ramps outside or something.

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

People younger than me that are getting married are just doing it in spite of my Super Mario 64 speedrun time of 3 minutes and 42 seconds. They keep trying to beat my time in other ways since they aren’t true gamers like me. Keep dreaming, kids. 💪😤

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

I like my women like I like my Saturday morning cartoons, silly.

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

When you really think about it, the Statue of Liberty was the first bionicle.

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

@luke_pdx It’s just devolving at this point.

[Mitch McBride @SlippyMitch]

Wait, did Zack and Cody’s mom sign a lease on a hotel room? Can you even do that, or was she getting some of that Moseby on the side as a special arrangement?