Snake Oil Quack

Where the wildly inaccurate meets the dangerously true.

[Snake Oil Quack @SnakeOilQuack]

@UberFacts in what time frame? 550 a day? Nice. I'll eat junk food. 550a year? nominal.

[Snake Oil Quack @SnakeOilQuack]

@UberFacts so... "no matter" sound pretty serious. Then you say "nearly impossible"... nearly? What a joke.

[Snake Oil Quack @SnakeOilQuack]

@UberFacts so what you're saying is that being in the"key"of A, bees buzz only the bites of that diatonic scale? Or do you mean the note A.

[Snake Oil Quack @SnakeOilQuack]

@UberFacts you guys are so ignorant. So many of your facts just aren't true, or you just write them in the most vague ways. It's pathetic.

[ABC News @ABC]

"Loser Keeps Bieber" billboard updated after #TeamUSA hockey loses to Canada: http://t.co/Yso1aM2vFW

[Snake Oil Quack @SnakeOilQuack]

I had a great day. Woke up, took a massive shit, then hit out off bed...

[Snake Oil Quack @SnakeOilQuack]

"@USATODAY: A Chinese artist's $1 million vase was smashed in a Florida museum protest: http://t.co/OOael1lCeA
#ValentineMeltdown

[Snake Oil Quack @SnakeOilQuack]

"Snake handler makes the ultimate sacrifice... in the name of stupidity" #LikeABOSS

http://t.co/eNmRr8UiZH

[Snake Oil Quack @SnakeOilQuack]

#suing @Nissan fo making me do things I knew I shouldn't do.

[Meredith Frost @MeredithFrost]

Norwegian speed skater Havard Bokko at the Winter Olympics. #Sochi2014

[Snake Oil Quack @SnakeOilQuack]

It has been confirmed that @ArnoldSch just took Gold in women's #figureskate and silver in #curling - a true renaissance man.

[Snake Oil Quack @SnakeOilQuack]

@JimGaffigan, I think @StephenHawking said those exact writers when he announced the launch of his career as a break dancer. Also @reba.

[Snake Oil Quack @SnakeOilQuack]

"Of course your mom and I are excited to see the woman you grow up to be. in fact, why don't you send us a postcard with all the details!"

[Snake Oil Quack @SnakeOilQuack]

Several days later, and the orgy in the Olympic village is in full swing. ALso Norway has TWICE the gold medals as the @usa #SochiProblems

[Snake Oil Quack @SnakeOilQuack]

I love that @CVS_Extra isn't selling tobacco. Now I can avoid unhealthy temptations when I pick up my @redbull and @Doritos

[Snake Oil Quack @SnakeOilQuack]

I apologize, my scheduled tweets are messing up.

[Snake Oil Quack @SnakeOilQuack]

With 2016 behind us, I think we can say things are looking up: with our newly elected president @darthvader I am expecting great things!

[Snake Oil Quack @SnakeOilQuack]

@JimGaffigan don't you want to know the name of your children? Identity theft is a small price to pay for that information. #DigitalMugging

[Snake Oil Quack @SnakeOilQuack]

"@cnni: Why have 61 million Chinese children been "left behind" by their parents? http://t.co/tQorW1ORhC"

My thoughts: they look the same.