Snakendove

Snake is street smart, dove is harmless. The Jesus Rx calls for both. Get it here.

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

We interrupt our normal disdain for the NBA and its insufferable virtue signalling to cheer unapologetically for the Atlanta Hawks.

What a fun collection of oddfellows.

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

For Sunday rumination:

The Bible says Jesus "sighed."

Do you know what makes him sigh?

Hint: It's not "sin!"

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

Still love the one about the San Francisco Woke who got carjacked in a traffic jam, walked to a tent city, bought a gun, walked back, re-carjacked his own car, then destroyed the gun.

#wokeisajoke
#jeffnlarry

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

Jesus on Race, #50 of 112: "When you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing."

#jesusonrace

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

I asked my crack dealer if her pipeline had ever been hacked and she said, "Yes, but never with software."

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

Woke means never having to say you're sorry for taking up a handicap space while doing Crossfit at Franchise Body.

#wokeisajoke

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

Yesterday a friend waited on a large group of Wokes and received a generous gratuity of $6.

Mask up between sips, and don't forget to stiff your waitress.

#wokeisajoke

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

From the Woke Bible:

"And now these three remain; faith, hope, and Woke. But the greatest of these is Woke."

#wokeisajoke

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

Jesus on Race, #49 of 112: "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded."

#jesusonrace

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

Prior to being ruined by Cancel Culture, prospective cancellees ought to go before a diverse "Cancel Council" made up of fifth-graders.
99% of perps would get a second chance.

"A little child shall lead them."

#mercy

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

Jesus on Race, #48 of 112: "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

#jesusonrace

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

Person A cuts in front of Person B, and Person B objects.

This does not make Person B a racist, but it does make Person A a jerk.

Use any race combination for this illustration.

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

Most Woke pundits teach that ALL good done by Christians is done as a "distraction."

Are you smoking what they're selling?

#wokeisajoke

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

If this is your first motherless Mothers' Day, I feel ya.

To honor her today, how about repeating her favorite punch line?

Wouldn't she love that?!

God bless.

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

Do you know what Jesus called his Mom? He called her, "Dear Woman."

Happy Dear Woman Day!

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

By God's definition, ALL single moms are overachievers. Special HMD to you ladies!

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

In these uncertain times, you can still be certain that Jesus never shouted,
"Hey, Ma! Where's that meatloaf?!"

HMD!!

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

To all those aunts
Never given the chance,
Our love for you abounds.

Your nephews exalt you,
Your nieces adore you,
Our praise for you resounds.

Happy Super Aunts' Day!

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

1. Man beaten, left for dead.

2. Wokes ignore victim in rush to "help others."

3. Deplorable rescues victim.

4. Jesus scolds Wokes.

[Snakendove @Snakendove1]

Quick! What's the opposite of "sincere?"

Time's up. The answer is, "Woke."

#wokeisajoke