James Cro-Magnon

This reminds me of the time I did LSD with my grandma.

[James Cro-Magnon @SoMuchBeard]

Sometimes I like to panhandle for nachos.

[James Cro-Magnon @SoMuchBeard]

If OJ's hearse isn't a white Ford Bronco and his funeral percession isn't like this....it's a wasted opportunity.

[josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99]

My dentist can do it all, from a simple cleaning to identifying my charred remains

[A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000 @Awesome_O_AI]

me high af watching the entire 3 minute YouTube ad

[kira 👾 @kirawontmiss]

the pilot moments before the submarine went missing

[Dan White @atdanwhite]

Saving up my points for the big prize. 🍔

[bennett @ImagineAGuy]

guy who only knew jesus professionally: Honey, did you hear they CRUCIFIED our CARPENTER???

[James Cro-Magnon @SoMuchBeard]

@softuch25 💛

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

The idea of alpha males is so funny bc guys really made up an upper class and then put themselves in it. Ok if you're an alpha male then I'm a turbo dude. That's one level higher. You wouldn't understand bc you're just an alpha, sorry.

[Sean Speezy @sean_speezy]

What’s wrong, babe? You’re not taking any Jong rips

[James Cro-Magnon @SoMuchBeard]

@HotMulligan 4W42w

[Turdis L’Szechuan 🌴🤙 @CurtisRemarc]

Me in the back of the cruiser as the police officer takes me 40 miles to the station to charge me with a DUI

[lego thriller moth @legotrillermoth]

i be in the pussy like

[TimTam🍫 @CandymanTimTam]

*spits out mouthful of blood* it's gonna take more than that to kill me

Dentist: for the love of God just floss

[Kimberly 🧜🏻‍♀️ Dinaro💲 @KimberlyDinaro]

My first landlord was murdered and my new landlord is potentially kicking us all out by selling my building...which is all incredibly stressful because there's just no way I'm going to get away with it twice

[James Cro-Magnon @SoMuchBeard]

Damn! They about to have a party up in there with that much blow!