Kevin

[Kevin @SoSure]

Tornados are so goofy. Sometimes the clouds get mad and hurt people.

[Kevin @SoSure]

Somebody’s out in their yard, a block over, just clapping intermittently. Maybe they’re beating a shoe on their vinyl siding. Yes, I’m a detective.

[Kevin @SoSure]

Wife tried to correct my form at the gym. Said I tilt to one side when I do squats. I was like, “I think this whole building is crooked?”

[Kevin @SoSure]

Cat begs to get in my lap while I’m working. I finally relent. He gets what he wants and goes, “Oh, right, it’s boring up here,” and gets down.

[Kevin @SoSure]

The cat is struggling to reckon with the reality that this canned fish is just for me.

[Kevin @SoSure]

I’m not a poser. All the people who do road work in Carhartt and climb mountains in North Face, those people are actually the R&D department so that I am comfortable on my cold, rainy trips between my car and the grocery store.

[Kevin @SoSure]

Levies are so annoying. You don’t pay your taxes and now I have to do a bunch of paperwork.

[Kevin @SoSure]

Got married right before gas jumped 50 cents. Was stressing costs for everybody driving in for it, but we got lucky, I guess.

[Kevin @SoSure]

Really liked this photo I got.

[Kevin @SoSure]

Witches be writhing. (I’m at a Florence and the Machine show.)

[Kevin @SoSure]

Witches be writhing. (I’m at a Florence and the Machine show.)

[Kevin @SoSure]

Walgreen’s Pharmacy phone bot: “I can probably help if you just tell me what you need.”

You can’t possibly comprehend the insurance tricks and “no, ignore that”-s I want to throw at this person.

[Kevin @SoSure]

Reading my vows off a little note card like I’m Mirandizing her.

[Kevin @SoSure]

The way she deflates at one point, when she realizes he’s still hung up on it, looks like she’s living her worst nightmare, heartbreakingly desperate.

[adam @rupertpubkin]

I don’t think any of you understand how good zendaya is in the drama.

[Kevin @SoSure]

@JCov1 I read these all, and only vaguely remember some details, but the name “Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill” is burned into my brain.

[Kevin @SoSure]

Reacher gets in an altercation with the FBI in Union Square.

“That’s where I would meet my rollerblader friends.”

[Kevin @SoSure]

Love when a Jack Reacher book is set in NYC and he talks about which trains go where and what will work for his purposes and I get to go, “That’s right, Reacher.”

[Kevin @SoSure]

That’s right, Reacher.

[Kevin @SoSure]

Love when a Jack Reacher book is set in NYC and he talks about which trains go where and what will work for his purposes and I get to go, “That’s right, Reacher.”

[Kevin @SoSure]

2 for 2

[Kevin @SoSure]

I'm only so far into the Jury Duty show but what luck picking one sweet-enough guy to not be in on it.

[Kevin @SoSure]

There was a very brief moment a few years ago when I could easily email tweets to myself with one of these “frequent recipient” buttons and I miss it.

[Kevin @SoSure]

Wegovy? Yougoing to war.

[Kevin @SoSure]

They got everybody on ozempic so they can get sent off to war.