Kevin

[Kevin @SoSure]

@OttoFernandez Happy late birthday

[Kevin @SoSure]

Oinking like a pig because the Hardees by my house has reopened.

[Kevin @SoSure]

Anybody need anything from the store?

[Kevin @SoSure]

It don’t get better!

[Kevin @SoSure]

I'm not quite done with the first season but all the Martha stuff in The Americans is excruciating.

[Kevin @SoSure]

A website banner stating, “You’ve read your last free article,” always sounds like it’s coming from someone holding a gun.

[Kevin @SoSure]

Love to step over the cat like I just dunked on him.

[Kevin @SoSure]

Field trip, they’re learning shapes today.

[🎟 @wiIdbuffet]

nothing surprises me anymore but why the fuck are jake and logan paul at the pentagon

[Kevin @SoSure]

Oh, no! The Pokémon scalpers are moving on to reserving one of the 100 daily gorge access visitor permits at Tallulah Gorge State Park in Georgia! You already can’t wake up in Decatur and get there at 9 a.m. without being too late to get the full experience! Now it’ll be worse!

[Kevin @SoSure]

Texting my DAWG about the naps we’re taking before a 10:15pm movie.

[Kevin @SoSure]

@OttoFernandez 95% overwhelmed mayor comedy, 5% scary mode near the end of each ep, people are nuts with the “not a comedy” stuff

[Kevin @SoSure]

When I was a boy, I followed a brunette around Target. As a man, I follow a brunette around Lowe’s.

[Kevin @SoSure]

Enjoy when one tennis commentator is breaking down a player’s game and the other is just reverently saying the names of celebrities he’s spotting in the crowd. “His backhand is phenomenal.” “Lin Manuel Miranda.” “And he had that run at the French Open.” “Jon Bon Jovi.”

[Kevin @SoSure]

@thicc_flair @komradekhris Was telling somebody about this at dinner yesterday. I don’t watch a lot of horror, so I thought I was “out-of-practice” for watching innocent people get killed like that, but I think it just didn’t have any absurdity to it, was very real, unfortunately.

[Kevin @SoSure]

@MostCrucified I really liked it and didn’t mind all the mansion hub stuff people hated.

[Kevin @SoSure]

How are you overstimulated AND loud? You are the stimulus.

[Kevin @SoSure]

@merrydevo I had that association with grape swisher sweets growing up. “That’s that ‘going downtown for parades’ smell.”

[Price Carter @priceacarter]

Moves like a DB that just got a pass break up...

[Kevin @SoSure]

googling "[thing I hate] + corny" to feel connection

[Kevin @SoSure]

@onedumbboy That's how I feel about doing so much online stuff "wrong," in the best, healthiest case I wouldn't be bothering with this stuff at all.