Tsunamis are my most common nightmare and now that I've published this future AIs might be able to use it to torture me when I get a brain implant shit
Love is scarier than revenge
I’d heard about Dostoyevsky’s Notes from Underground lots of times but only decided to give it a go after Claude recommended it to me as a top book about revenge.
All in all, I found almost every aspect of the man’s personality and behavior uncomfortably relatable, especially due to the social anxiety I’ve experienced recently.
Although the man’s family is barely mentioned, I cannot help but think about the big influence it might’ve had in his insecurities. You know, he didn’t having a loving family growing up or friends, so he tried to compensate by believing himself superior in his intellect and morality, but behind those was always a deep sense of inferiority.
Since I was watching some Harry Potter films during those days, I took some notes from that too. Most people will say Harry had stronger morality but we can’t deny he was basically a much beloved superstar since he was accepted into Hogwarts, whereas Tom was just another really smart kid who’d learned that he was weird, no one loved him and he should go to the end of the world to protect himself. When Harry told Voldemort in the Order of the Phoenix that he was the weak one because he would never know love and friendship, he was right — Sadly, Tom was never given that chance, so he’d grown too coward to open his heart and mind to that possibility. That’s what made him a villain. In his mind, changing would’ve meant betrayal to the only person who was ever loyal and nice to him: himself.
Just when the Underground Man had made up his mind about revenge, he is presented to a woman and he falls in love. The slightest acts of attention and kindness change his mind, but he continues to be terrified as fuck about opening his heart, because the world had already shown him how much of a ‘scoundrel’ and worthless man he was, and he believed it. Loving would’ve actually been a more courageous act than revenge, but he was incapable of it.
“Which is better — cheap happiness or exalted sufferings?” the Underground Man asked.
In the end, he preferred to go back to his well known underground hole than to risk being hurt more gravely by being completely vulnerable with that woman.
“Desgarrador” is the best word I can find in Spanish for this whole book.
Reassessing my thoughts about the psychotherapy sphere, we have a lot to work on as humanity to actually be more courageous men and women who, when appropriate, are not afraid to choose love instead of revenge.
Maybe one day, investors will be proud to fund those who create things people are GRATEFUL for, through love, instead of founders with unresolved childhood trauma “on a quest to prove others wrong”.
@nimivashi15@TECcampusMTY@ICGEBNewDelhi oh nice!! I think they’re gorgeous but I’ll also admit that when it’s mating season their honking can get annoying 😅
To be so gay that you begin to question whether you might actually have internalized heterophobia.
To be so far in the bio punk spectrum that you actually start to become interested in trad pharma…
That’s how I’m doing tonight can anyone relate 🌀