Ritchie_Ventually

Losing the rat race...just like 98% if you guys.

[Ritchie_Ventually @SomeTofinoGuy]

The only thing you should chase tequila with is more tequila.

[Ritchie_Ventually @SomeTofinoGuy]

@TheRealPiney @SexytotheNorth Anything out of a box.

[Ritchie_Ventually @SomeTofinoGuy]

Just dialled 8675309 and your mom answered.....

[Darlin’ Darla @Darlainky]

In 4th grade I told my teacher I had a headache. He said, “If I had a head like yours, it’d hurt too.” Mr Deweese taught me more than fractions that year, he taught me the art of sick burns.

[Ritchie_Ventually @SomeTofinoGuy]

Ladies, hold your own ankles up so he knows it's real.

[Ritchie_Ventually @SomeTofinoGuy]

Her: I only like you as a friend.
Me: Well. Can I suck you titties as friends then?

[Betty Botticelli @Faungirl123]

Her tits were sloppy...

His dick was weird and bent...

A twitter love story.

[Ritchie_Ventually @SomeTofinoGuy]

Can you still say you're sexually active if you just lay there?

[𝕾𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖍 @SummerSongGirl]

Strange how those things you long for you think will make you happy rarely does but the shit you dread never fails to disappoint

[Ritchie_Ventually @SomeTofinoGuy]

Her: Fuck you and your Facebook hoes!!

Me: But I met you on Facebook....

[Ritchie_Ventually @SomeTofinoGuy]

@MissieLDee Even if I could, I'd still be late half the time....

[Ritchie_Ventually @SomeTofinoGuy]

Without my cookies, I am just a monster...

[Ritchie_Ventually @SomeTofinoGuy]

My dick might not be 12 inches, but it sure smells like a foot.

[Ritchie_Ventually @SomeTofinoGuy]

@mimosa_mermaid Me: (Immediately starts eating bacon cheeseburgers)

[Ritchie_Ventually @SomeTofinoGuy]

Might as well go out....I mean, them cougars ain't going to hunt themselves.

[Ritchie_Ventually @SomeTofinoGuy]

@Torgo_phylum @Jamberee13 Same with Amelia Earheart

[Ritchie_Ventually @SomeTofinoGuy]

LifeHack:
A house can't fall on you if you're homeless.

[Ritchie_Ventually @SomeTofinoGuy]

Kinda sad today....
Because I just realized I can't call them Cougars anymore since I'm almost as old as them.

[Ritchie_Ventually @SomeTofinoGuy]

@LunaLuvgood2020 Immigrants came and tried to take my family's language, culture and way of life....

[Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP]

Not too drunk to do the project but too drunk to drive to Home Depot. So you see my dilemma.