Southern Rail

(Un)Official feed of Southern Railway UK. We're here to ruin your day.

This is a parody account, just like the official one.

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

@ad_1980 We are commited to ruin people's lives as per our franchise agreement

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

@__S_P Most likely not. The posh twats in first class always refuse to cooperate with declassification.

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

@Pagikk @SouthernRailUK We promise we are not making fun of you. Signalling problems are serious problems.

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

No service on all lines from midday tomorrow for 29 hours as we cannot be bothered anymore.

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

@_datalytics_ @AndyBraben @SouthernRailUK This isn't a question for us, we do not run underground trains.

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

@SouthernMemes Sorry, but this unfortunately will not happen

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

@Shriv_The_Grump Apologies for the alteration! We will be improving the service by running ex-Northern Pacer units from May 2017.

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

@Pagikk @SouthernRailUK Apologies. We are experiencing a backlog of signalling problems. Ask the driver to get a move on.

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

@AndyBraben @SouthernRailUK No need to question this. Just trust us that lifts are being renewed at London Victoria.

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

@4thdoctor_scarf @SouthernRailOK We do our best to remind our customers of the experience, even after they come back from holiday abroad!

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

@AndyBraben @SouthernRailUK Hi Andy. The lifts on the railway station. Happy to help!

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

@ad_1980 The buses will be sent home, and the trains will still not run. We will leave you stranded, unable to get home.

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

@pwlofthouse Yes! We will be introducing even shorter trains during peak hours.

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

@mazza203 Apologies for the stress! We will soon be getting rid of platform staff. Hopefully they will not whine like the guards.

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

@Caroline_Em_S apologies for the repeated excuses. We are investing in bringing out new ones in the near future.

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

@JoeRodgers01 We ourselves don't even know anymore.

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

@DavDM89 that is the plan, but no buses will be running because no bus company will cooperate with us.

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

@doodelie @SW_Trains Where's the fun in improving staff morale?

[BadSouthernRail @BadSouthernRail]

⚠#GatwickAirport Mutual ticket acceptance with kids with bmx's giving backies, and bloke with a milk float

[Southern Rail @SouthernRail_UK]

@erikaperfect @adambgoodall No need to wait any longer, it will definitely be cancelled.