The Sportificator

A Kiwi sporting tragedy. Left-leaning, right-arm medium bowler. Poor golfer. Too slow for the backs, too skinny for the forwards. Dicky knees. Monday's expert.

[PRGuy @PRGuy17]

#ThankYouVicPol trends number 1 across Australia as Aussies stand in solidarity with the brave Victorian police officers who have again held the line against violent rioters.

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

WTF Australia? #Aussiesnosurpisesthere #NZPOL #AUSPOL

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

@guywilliamsguy @UnityBooks Hi Guy, have to contact you through here as I can't find any other way. Are you up for some work around the Sept election? The focus would be on the Nelson electorate.

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

@AliIkram It's KFC. What does it matter?

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

@JesseMulligan Hi mate, love your RNZ show but just saw the video of you slagging off TVNZ unfairly taking ratings/revenue off it's competitors. I'm going to assume that somebody wrote that for you and you had to read it. Otherwise... how do explain what you do? Please explain.

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

@DevlinLive George Bridge double hat-trick! @AllBlacks

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

@jaynefrances63 It's going to be fine. This is our time. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. #nzveng #cwc19

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

#NZvENG #cwc19 Best possible start

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

#NZvENG I'll say it now. This pitch is not doing much but seems a little slow. Early call. #cwc19

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

@aotearoaxi @GuyHeveldt #Lordssoflash

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

#NZvENG #CWC19 My favourite moment is about to happen again. Eoin Morgan is about to sing God Save the Queen and all of Eire will be sick in their mouths.

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

#NZvENG #CWC19 As we approach the start I remember the way we humiliated ENG at CWC15 and can't help thinking that this is the basis of their motivation today. @MarkRichardson Thinking negatively.

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

@dizzydover Agree.

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

@addigupta678 Hi Addi, I agree but in NZ we would say "Kia kaha. Kia toa." Be strong. Be a warrior. That will be New Zealand tonight.

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

#NZvENG

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

#ENGvsNZ @ milesdavislive https://t.co/sqbNoJrkYm 0.7mm of rain forecast. It's nought lad.

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

@wasimakramlive Yeah nah.

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

@MilesDavisLive Mate you've just told all those boys at your house that there's a bottle of gin to be had. Assuming that they're listening..

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

@melindafarrell Jaw fractured.

[The Sportificator @Sportificator]

@AliIkram These pitches have added such a dimension to this Cup though, don't you think. The bowlers have a real chance. The ledger has been evened a little.