𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚎𝚢

Weekend Weather on CBS Detroit/CE 50, Writer

[𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚎𝚢 @StaceyinDetroit]

Inside the right pocket of my sweatpants is a second, smaller, pocket and I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this.

[𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚎𝚢 @StaceyinDetroit]

“Saturday morning I woke up and realized it was already Saturday afternoon.” #linesIwishIdwritten #MurderOnSexIsland #JoFirestone

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

NEVER let your printer know you’ve waited until the last minute and you’re in a hurry, because it can sense fear.

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

They’ve arrested more people for touching the peeling paint at the Reflecting Pool than they’ve arrested from the Epstein files.

[Dadman Standing @dadmann_walking]

I'll be honest. I never even knew McDonald's took the fried apple pie away.

[𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚎𝚢 @StaceyinDetroit]

Why does 2024 seem like decades ago?

[Michigan Storm Chasers @MiStormChasers]

Michigan now sits at 20 confirmed tornadoes in 2026. This is a well above average year, as we typically see 13-16 per year.

[𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚎𝚢 @StaceyinDetroit]

@MiStormChasers Well done! 😂

[💗 @ma1ybe]

Is this what men mean when they say they want us to be more feminine?

[𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚎𝚢 @StaceyinDetroit]

Apparently my neighbors are the type of people that cover their outdoor furniture every night.

[Martin Pilgrim @MartinPilgrim1]

There's no time like the present. Except the recent past and the near future. Those are quite similar to the present.

[mollie writes stuff @vuse_lover]

Met a guy recently named Jonathan who goes by Nathan. I didn’t even know you could do that

[💫𝓓𝓮𝓶𝓸💫🪐 @Demo4fhs]

Corporate life is watching a great idea get ignored until someone with a bigger title repeats it.

[Danny Penman @DrDannyPenman]

Nobody is in charge. Nobody knows what they're doing. We're all just blundering through life hoping for the best. It makes life far more interesting.

[Meech @MediumSizeMeech]

I will never call someone a “situationship” Stevie Wonder invented the term “part-time lover” for a reason

[Michael McKean @MJMcKean]

If you see something weird, say something weird.

[phone home @summers_sonny]

I’m a pretty big deal on a planet you’ve never heard of.

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Me: Hey, can you print this black and white document?

Printer: I am offline.

Me: No, you are not. Can you please just print this black and white document?

Printer: With my MAGENTA low??? Bro, you sound insane right now.

[Martin Pilgrim @MartinPilgrim1]

I wish companies were bolder with their online shopping suggestions. It's always "You bought this shirt. You might also like...this very similar shirt". I want things like "You bought this shirt. You might also like...becoming a beekeeper and moving to Portugal".

[Rick DeVos @RickDeVos]

It’s called Michigan

[Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom]

Happy 36th anniversary to my parents’ bottle of SPF 4 Coppertone.