Stan Efferding

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

@Uber_Support Need escalation on Uber Connect delivery dispute older than 30 days. Automated system blocks support. Need human review.

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

Eat a donut hole

Not the whole donut

(And not 10 donut holes 😡)

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

“Meathead Meat Up - Stan Efferding, Shawn Baker, Chris Bell” with Mark Bell, @iamandrewz, and Nsima Inyang. Tomorrow, Feb 15 at 8:30 AM PST on @joinclubhouse! https://t.co/Dk6SAgNvaa

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

Regardless who wins the election ...

DON’T SKIP LEG DAY!!

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

If you can walk down a flight of stairs when you’re done training legs ... THEN YOU’RE NOT DONE TRAINING LEGS!!!

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

•••• TRUTHFUL NOT USEFUL ••••

TRUTHFUL: “Move More, Eat Less”

USEFUL: “Take a 10-minute walk after each meal and Meal Prep”

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

MILANI (My 8 year old daughter): “Dad, my shoes aren’t where I put them.”

ME: “Is it possible you put them somewhere else?”

MILANI: “Is it possible a cat is a dog? NO!!”

ME: (Dumfounded, speechless)

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

Stop focusing on what you want to be SOME DAY.

Start doing what it takes to get there TODAY!!

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

“Things that are done to you or for you are rarely as effective as things you do for yourself”

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

FOR THE RECORD:

“Monster Mash” will NOT prevent or cure the Corona Virus.

Someone please tell @BioLayne so I don’t end up on F*ckery Friday!!

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

@OleMissVideo @Wes55Burton Awesome!! Is that Monster Mash? Thermos for the win!! 🦏

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

ONLINE GURU: “Only 2 spots available for new clients”

SAME ONLINE GURU: (Signs up 10 new clients)

🤦‍♂️

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

CLIENT: “When do I get a cheat
meal?”

ME: “We’re sorry, the number you
have dialed has been
disconnected or is no longer in
service”

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

CLIENT: I cant lose weight

ME: It’s possible you have FTMD

CLIENT: Is there a blood test for that?

ME: Unfortunately, there’s no blood test for “Fork-To-Mouth-Disease”

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

IIFYMM

If it fits your Macros AND Micros!!

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

That moment when someone says “Move more, Eat less” doesn’t work then they tell you to “Increase daily activity and reduce caloric intake” 🤦‍♂️

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

“The hard shit always works better than the easy shit!”

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

New health initiative:

Just say “NO” to ca-NO-la oil.

https://t.co/VdIaxB46ce

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

New advice for sleep compliance:

Every 5th night, just stay up all night long.

It’s called the 80/20 rule!

Why not? It works for dieting ... doesn’t it?

[Stan Efferding @StanEfferding]

Show me someone who’s never been injured and I’ll you show you someone who’s never won anything.