StatsUWO

Parody account. In no way affiliated with Western University. Stats are 300.1% reliable.

[StatsUWO @StatsUWO]

In the past week, the average student has received over 17 spam emails on their uwo account.

[StatsUWO @StatsUWO]

100% of students reading this are procrastinating studying.

[StatsUWO @StatsUWO]

There is currently a 8:1 goose to student ratio on Broughdale this HOCO, not due to an excess of geese, but a lack of students.

[StatsUWO @StatsUWO]

Less than 3% of Western students plan to go out this ‘HOCO’

[StatsUWO @StatsUWO]

80% of students will smoke for the ‘first time’ tonight.

[StatsUWO @StatsUWO]

A student who frequents Weldon is 1.5x as likely to go out on any given night when compared to a student who frequents Taylor.

[StatsUWO @StatsUWO]

40% of the campus is already a drink deep. #FOCO2018

[StatsUWO @StatsUWO]

Trends indicate there’s a .001% chance you will get trampled by a horse on FOCO.
—
Analysts derived this figure from emerging homecoming trends across Ontario. #MacHOCO #QueensHOCO #OurFakeHOCOBeatsYourRealOnes

[StatsUWO @StatsUWO]

UWO SURVEY: What’s your FOCO Plan?

[StatsUWO @StatsUWO]

Surveys indicate that 37% of ‘Purple Fest’ ticket holders will party too hard on Broughdale and not attend the USC Sanctioned event.

[StatsUWO @StatsUWO]

Over 93% of students are expecting to forget tomorrow between 9:30am-10:00pm

[StatsUWO @StatsUWO]

The bookstores sale of purple clothing has skyrocketed to annual highs over the last week #FOCO

[StatsUWO @StatsUWO]

Alcohol consumption has rose over 250% over the past week. Analysts project this trend will continue into mid-October.

[StatsUWO @StatsUWO]

When questioning dropping out, the thought of Barney's Patio opening soon has encouraged over 900 students to finish the semester.

[clane @someonesdogg]

The greatest thing I ever accomplished was getting this posted as confession number 1 #PurpleReign @StatsUWO

[StatsUWO @StatsUWO]

@maclean________ Out of those individuals, there's also a 99% chance they complain to their friends about "not enough time for all this homework"

[clane @someonesdogg]

There's a 1 in 3 chance any girl u sit near on campus will be watching greys anatomy @StatsUWO

[felix stueckmann @stueckmannf]

@StatsUWO 100% of people who leave Ricks before 3rd set are cowards

[StatsUWO @StatsUWO]

There's only a 5% chance Western will actually clear the sidewalks this week.

[StatsUWO @StatsUWO]

Analysis predicts that when compared to Jacks, Ceeps will have 1.7x as many people tonight. Staticians link this to 'Jacks Burnout' after a packed Dollar beers last night.