Stephen Taylor

Just a big ole pocket full of sunshine.

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

people are so dramatic it makes me want to kill myself

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

@getparlerapp @johnrich They’re touring arenas while Big n Rich are…

[i am not elon musk @staylorcomedy]

Jewish Space Lasers sounds like an old punk band who's big single was "Moon Kampf" https://t.co/Xh2HUnxgWE

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

I'm switching everything to this account and will start tweeting there.

😘😘😘

[i am not elon musk @staylorcomedy]

I used to work at @RevelryofRuston and everyone called me "Fat Stephen" which was fine except for the fact that I was the only Stephen that worked there.

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

@emzanotti @MeghanMcCain I think it's yellow.

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

Today, I would like to guzzle straws.

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

seasons come and go but this ass will always be juicy.

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

You ever take a poop and then go to flush and its all gone?

Who took it?

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

Soggy Bottomed Girls make the rocking world go round.

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

@IamAaronNaylor @Twitter Can I retweet this again?

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

@odd_marcus @ChampagneErnie This was worth getting back on Twitter.

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

@cnkraly Pizza Street: the buffet prices go up but the wages stay the same.

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

If you bring a keg to Christmas, they can't count how many beers you've had.

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

For Christmas, someone buy me a Pad Thai Massage. I wanna be rubbed with warm cashew noodles

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

@KyleJoeHopkins Those are the wrong 3 words but I love and accept you anyway.

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

Describe me using only 3 words:

Funny
Smart
Pretty

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

I've watched 3 documentaries on bitcoin and I've still got no clue what it is.

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

When do the retweets start on this thing?

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

I went to a food bank and they said I didn't qualify for a food loan.

Am I using this right? I've been on @Facebook too long.

[Stephen Taylor @StephenGTaylor]

Because Facebook banned me I will now finally be able to fully pursue my career as a comedian on this God forsaken site.