Steve Fotheringham

[Sky News @SkyNews]

Two people killed, including a child, after truck drives through soccer field https://t.co/rzlJZIZLLh

[Meg @MegOfficiall]

Gynecologist: “Your test results are extremely serious.”

Me: “Then why did another hospital say everything is normal?”

The surgeon looked at the gynecologist.

Surgeon: “Because someone changed her medical records.”

I stared at both of them.

“Changed them?”

The gynecologist nodded.

“Your original results show you’re perfectly healthy.”

Me: “Then whose results are these?”

Nobody answered.

The surgeon took the file from the table.

“These aren’t yours.”

I looked at the name.

It was mine.

Same name.

Same date of birth.

Same address.

But the medical history belonged to someone I’d never heard of.

Me: “Who is this?”

The surgeon lowered his voice.

“That’s what we’ve been trying to find out.”…

[John Cleese @JohnCleese]

I would like to remind the Archbishop of Canterbury that when Jesus Christ said 'Love thy neighbour as thyself',
He didn't say 'Love thy neighbour better than yourself'

[Nigel Owens MBE @Nigelrefowens]

Dam I retired to soon 😂😂😉😉🏉🏉

[Steve Fotheringham @StevoFoth]

@BrewDogJames @BrewDog Would love to say I enjoyed it but 1 at order disappeared and 2nd order from 7th July still in packing state. So 3-5 working days is currently at 51 days and counting from ordering on the 28th of May.

[Steve Fotheringham @StevoFoth]

@ScotRail Too late, it's gone another 30 minute delay and a delay at Stirling as I'll miss my connection further north

[Steve Fotheringham @StevoFoth]

@ScotRail That's not what the guard said to me

[Steve Fotheringham @StevoFoth]

Typical @ScotRail, due to signalling problems your train is cancelled. If you are going to Falkirk or Stirling you can get on the Inverness train, that is unless you've got a smartcard, as Virgin East coast don't accept these.