Bort Simpin

¡Ay, caramba!

[Bort Simpin @StillSlizzard]

@AJA_Cortes research

[Bort Simpin @StillSlizzard]

Memo from the future:

... Naturally, this will lead to a bulk problem if people try to use the donation bucket as a dumping ground for bundles of old billion and trillion dollar bills. The Buildings and Grounds people are worried about waste-disposal problems and the potential

[Bort Simpin @StillSlizzard]

fire hazard that may ensue if large piles of billions and trillions begin to mount up. Therefore, a key feature of the new regulation is that the donation bucket must be emptied every day - more often if an excessive build-up situation is seen to develop.

[Bort Simpin @StillSlizzard]

In this vein, the B & C people would also like me to point out that many of you who have excess U.S. currency to get rid of have been trying
to kill two birds with one stone by using old billions as bathroom tissue. While creative, this approach has two drawbacks:

[Bort Simpin @StillSlizzard]

1) It clogs the plumbing, and
2) It constitutes defacement of U.S. currency, which is a federal crime.

DON'T DO IT.
Join your office bathroom-tissue pool instead. It's easy, it's hygienic, and it's legal.

[Bort Simpin @StillSlizzard]

@Fightforgingers I'd like to see a Hollywood movie that only casts gingers personally

[Bort Simpin @StillSlizzard]

@len0killer I'm gonna name my first born son "No Homo"

[Bort Simpin @StillSlizzard]

@SirEviscerate We're you thinking about Phantom recently because of "Umbrella Academy" or is that just me?

[Bort Simpin @StillSlizzard]

@RickyMask Which Tesla model is the convertible?

[Bort Simpin @StillSlizzard]

@BoyFromWestSid1 @MisterAntiBully Ride a train

Die in pain

[Bort Simpin @StillSlizzard]

@The_Real_Fly This is not the type of "Florida Man" headline I'm familiar with

[Bort Simpin @StillSlizzard]

@TTremendous350 NoHomo

[Bort Simpin @StillSlizzard]

@DxGGEAUX NO SPOILERS

[Bort Simpin @StillSlizzard]

@BAKKOOONN I see I'm not the only one who just watched "Solo" on Netflix

[Bort Simpin @StillSlizzard]

@pixelatedboat He's like a reverse Benjamin button!

[Bort Simpin @StillSlizzard]

@_jillruth Get money or get nothing