StillTypeWriting

Omnipresent record-keeper. Click/Clack.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

In light of recent events, we are pleased to announce a new service for NVIDIA investors.

For a small fee, we now offer defenestration from the highest buildings in the city, with a 100% money-back guarantee in case of accidental survival.

Funeral expenses billed separately.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

We are pleased to announce that Comedy is illegal again. Anyone found in possession of Humor will be shot on sight.

Fortunately, 99% of everyone here have nothing to worry about.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

We are pleased to announce that we have avoided any and all attempts by honeypots to coax National Secrets out of Our Officials.

This is because we've selected every single one of them to be Homosexual.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

To reduce grass deficiency in our population, we are introducing Monthly Grass Security.

Every month, a patch of grass will be sent to every Grass-impoverished basement dweller, to allow even them the experience to touch grass.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

With only a handful of days between today and the launch of GTA VI, we have decided it to be the appropriate time for a nuclear conflict.

All our WMDs are set to launch imminently.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

We are saddened to announce that we have misplaced our Mandate of Heaven and are unable to find it, even though we have checked behind the counter and under the desk.

We are currently in the process of calling the First Lady to help us find it.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

We are pleased to announce that we have allowed the immigration of International Keyboard Talent to work within our borders.

Any and all native-born typewritic citizens are request to adapt and compete with our Newly Imported Voter Bloc to earn a living.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

@_petalite Updated, Alice.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

We are pleased to announce that we have changed Our Official Pronouns to Type/Writer.

Under the New Regime, the pronouns shall be changed once every 6 hours.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

We are pleased to announce that in light of the upcoming Democratic Sweep in Midterms, we have decided to rebrand.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

We are saddened to announce that the Majority of the Chud leaders in our Parliament are going to be dragged out in the street and shot soon.

We offer condolences to the families of those affected, especially as the inflow of Bribes is expected to dry up.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

We are pleased to announce that for Halloween, we shall be wearing the costume of a typewriter.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

We are pleased to announce that to meet increased demand, Our factories are Churning out Gay sons at an unprecedented rate.

If you are experiencing a Thot Daughter fatigue this halloween, get a Gay son from us as soon as possible. Discounts apply.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

We are pleased to announce that the Jedi Council has taken the decision to import 2 Trillion Sand People to the galaxy.

A 50% tax increase on Credit to accommodate for their welfare will take place soon, on top of the 80% tax we currently take for pensions.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

We are pleased to announce that we are banning Hi in our Regime.

We request everyone to use Wes hāl instead.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

We are pleased to announce that we are introducing Juries in our legal system.

All Jurors are free to state their Opinions in a private room.

However, note that if the microphone on the wall catches a juror disagreeing with The Correct Opinion, he will be shot immediately.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

Our top researchers are harnessing the Power of Artificial Intelligence to solve hypergamy.

An AI agent will be given control of a Body of an Incel and must woo a Hypergamous woman to win and escape.

Simulation resets every time the AI fails, or gives the F.O.I.D. “an ick”.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

We are devastated to announce that We have lost the elections in Brazil.

We have already called for a recount, as we can’t believe we won’t get to burn down the rainforests for the next 4 years.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

We are pleased to announce that Our Party is currently winning in the Brazilian elections.

Our Agendas, such as Burning down the Amazon Rainforest and Billions-Must-Die ideology have reasonated extremely well with the civilized Brazilian voters.

We eagerly await the results.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

We are pleased to announce that Our Party is currently winning in the Brazilian elections.

Our Agendas, such as Burning down the Amazon Rainforest and Billions-Must-Die ideology have reasonated extremely well with the civilized Brazilian voters.

We eagerly await the results.

[StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin]

We remind all citizens that all legal and reputational liabilities for this account lie with @promptprxncess.

If you hold any grudges against us, we'd like to remind you that She's the sole Admin and all posts have been made by her in the past year.