The World Cup has turned America into a discovery channel for the rest of the world.
And they are not handling it well.
In the best possible way.
Here is what they are discovering:
Free public restrooms. Europeans pay every time.
Free water at every restaurant. Just appears.
Free refills. Coffee. Sodas. Iced tea. Unlimited.
Free chips and salsa before you even order.
Free warm bread with dinner.
Ice in drinks like civilized people.
Air conditioning everywhere. Not a moral debate. A fact.
Parking lots attached to the actual place you are going.
Drive throughs where the food comes to the car while you sit in it.
Ranch dressing by the gallon.
Tex-Mex that cannot be explained only experienced.
Dental care that actually works.
Buccee’s. There are no words for Buccee’s.
Then they found the grocery stores.
Five of them within one mile.
Each one the size of an aircraft hangar.
Burgers. Steaks. Brisket. Ribs. Pulled pork. Lamb. Veal. Every cut of every animal ever domesticated by human civilization available in one refrigerated aisle at ten in the morning on a Tuesday.
The Germans stood in the meat section for forty five minutes.
In silence.
Processing.
They finally understand why we do not have trains.
We have roads wide enough for the cars we actually drive.
Parking lots the size of small European countries.
Airports in every city worth visiting.
Why would we need trains.
The Germans are taking ranch home by the bottle.
The Dutch found queso and briefly lost the ability to speak.
The Japanese are photographing HEB like it is the Louvre.
The Czechs are weeping in West, Texas.
Welcome to America!
The greatest country on earth.
🚨JUST IN: Legendary #Giants and #Steelers wide receiver Plaxico Burress wife Tiffany announced that she is running for Congress as a Republican in New Jersey.
Tiffany is one of the most successful local attorneys and is running for a congressional seat held by a Democrat.
The top 3 came down to the final update as the @TexasLonghorns come out on top by 1.5 pts!
@USC_Athletics with a great season to finish 2nd. So close to winning their 1st Directors Cup.
3rd place is the lowest finish for @GoStanford. In 31 yrs, 26 wins, 4 2nds and 1 3rd place!
@ImMeme0 I’d like to know how many cases you’ve personally SUCCESSFULLY prosecuted in court. Seriously… even if you just sat around and watched crime shows all day - you’d know that all the necessary evidence doesn’t always fall into the investigator’s lap the day a case is opened.
Take a look at the final scorecards for the @TexasLonghorns, @USC_Athletics and @GoStanford.
The difference between 1st and 3rd is 4.25 points or 0.33%. It's a razor thin margin considering this is a contest that covers 36 sports (31 that these teams compete in).
@RandaftDook@IDGomez_Austin@kyleumlang LOL… Well known that Longhorns had a “slump” for part of last two decades - yet they still rank #11 in total wins since 2000… and that’s w/o playing any FCS patsies. Only SEC winning more games in that span are UGA, OU, bama, & LSU (but they all played FCS teams).