Adrian Dad

Dog ate my bio

[Adrian Dad @StyloDad]

If you buy a truck cap in Canada, you are legally obligated to carry a hockey stick to reach for stuff in the back

[Buddawiggi @MarkBuckawicki]

Started a band, you’re in it

[Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve]

How often do you guys get your teeth sharpened ?

[Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve]

After a bad day, I'd like to drown myself in that fountain from the show Friends

[Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve]

Your middle name will now be your email address from high school

[Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve]

In secret, I've worn a set of backwards pants under my regular pants, exactly what Kris Kross had taught me

[Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve]

I'm retiring and moving to the west coast and getting tree tattoos

[Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve]

Circumcisions are performed with those giant scissors you see cutting ceremonial ribbons

[Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve]

Why can't there be engagement fanny packs

[Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve]

The Kit Kat heist is the real Italian Job sequel we've always needed

[Nayele18 @nayele18maybe]

I am only one bad decision away from sitting on cake for money

[KoKeni Snap'sSquatch @KoKeniSaskqatch]

You wouldn't know me, I'm from the unpopulated part of Canada.

[Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire]

There was a lull in conversation at the dinner party so I casually mentioned how weird it would be if one of us got murdered like in those zany movies.

[Sweet Momissa @sweetmomissa]

I don’t care how many vitamins and minerals they have, if you’re going to call them superfoods then they better come with little capes on.

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

Inevitably, we discuss melon wrapped in prosciutto. I raise my hand. “Couldn’t we just throw the melon on the ground for ants to drag away?”

[Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire]

“Integrity is how you act when no one is watching,” I murmur to myself as I use butter like a glue stick on my toast.

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

Striving for a balanced TL that your parents can read, but your brother will laugh at. How is your brother anyway? Does he ask about me?

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

What I do on a Sunday is make things fit into garbage cans.

[Darla @ddsmidt]

Our first two dogs were planned, the third one was an accident.

[OneToothTe𝕏an @OneToothTeXan]

I leave my sanity at home when I go out. Can't afford to lose that.

[Philosopher King, Oracle @signalborder]

If snails are so slow, why do we never see them coming? It’s just
!BAM!, there’s a snail.