¤ Subash ¤

From parts unknown | He/Him |
🇮🇳🇨🇦🇱🇷

[¤ Subash ¤ @SubiBrown]

Is Twitter turning into Linkedin?

[positivity moon @arrtnem]

Functional depression looks really good on you from the outside.

You wake up to the alarm, not to some cinematic breakdown. You hit snooze twice, curse under your breath, and get up because there are emails and mouths and bills that do not care what your brain is doing. The toothbrush moves. The shower runs. The coffee machine hums. Your body walks through the script. Somewhere around 08:17 you catch your own face in the bathroom mirror and feel that tiny drop in your stomach. You look fine. That is the worst part. You look completely fine.

At work you are even better. You know the right jokes for the group chat. You write the Slack messages with the little emoji at the end so no one misreads your tone. You sit in meetings and nod at the right time, say something smart about timelines, share your screen. Your camera shows a person who is engaged and competent. Nobody sees that the entire time, there is a second movie running behind your eyes. Old conversations. Things you regret. Imaginary disasters. That one sentence someone said three years ago that still feels like a punch. All of it looping like a cursed playlist.

From the outside you look like a functioning adult. Inside you feel like a person trapped in a glass box at the bottom of a swimming pool.

The water is the thoughts. That constant buzz. You are sitting on the couch at 21:46, show playing on your laptop, phone in your hand, and you are not actually in the room. You are replaying every small failure of the day. The email where you sounded weird. The moment you saw your reflection in a shop window and hated your posture. The way your friend texted a bit shorter than usual. Your chest feels heavy and weirdly empty at the same time. You scroll anyway. You laugh at a meme. You send a reaction back. No one watching that scene would call it depression.

You keep telling yourself exactly that. It cannot be that bad. You have a job. You reply to messages. You pay rent on time. You show up for family. You wash dishes. You even make plans sometimes. Functional depression is cruel because it hands you a list of everything you manage to do and uses it as evidence against your own pain.

How can you be drowning when you are still walking.

There is a version of depression everyone knows how to recognize. The one where you cannot get out of bed. The one where you cry all the time. The dramatic collapse. The movie version. People feel sympathy for that one. They send messages. They ask if you need anything. They bring soup. What you have is different. You get out of bed. You go to work. You smile. You make the joke. You remember the birthday. You look like someone whose favorite phrase should be “I am fine.”

So you learn to become an expert at being fine.

You say “just tired” so many times it stops meaning anything. You say “busy lately” when what you mean is “I feel like there is a hole in my chest and I keep dropping pieces of myself into it.” You become the one who listens rather than talks because listening hurts less than explaining. When someone asks “how are you really,” you feel this flash of panic. If you open that door, you are not sure you can close it fast enough to still make your 10:30 meeting.

Functional depression turns your life into a performance where the main skill is not letting anyone see the stagehands behind the curtain.

Your body keeps trying to report the truth in weird small ways. The tension headache that hits every afternoon around 16:12 when your screen starts to blur. The way your jaw clicks because you grind your teeth all night. The random wave of nausea in the supermarket under fluorescent lights. The way your heart suddenly spikes for no obvious reason when you get a harmless notification. None of it is dramatic enough to count as an emergency. All of it adds up to a nervous system tapping on the glass.

[🎮𝙆𝙖𝙞𝙮𝙖🎮 @KaiKai2492]

Low-key one of the best music videos of all time it's really aged like wine.

How ironic is it that a video delivering a message about the dangers of addiction, escapism and loneliness is almost entirely referenced/used for the sexual imagery despite the fact the video is a warning against using escapism to fulfill your romantic and sexual fantasies in place of actual IRL relationships.

[¤ Subash ¤ @SubiBrown]

@fnlwpn

[Final Weapon @fnlwpn]

CALLING ALL HUNTERS: To celebrate this week's release of Monster Hunter Wilds, we're giving away one digital copy for your platform of choice!

Follow + RT this tweet to enter. Get a BONUS entry if you show your subscription to the Final Weapon YouTube Channel in the replies!

[critter @BecomingCritter]

You hear Costco is great. One friend describes it as a 'shopping Disney World'. You start thinking about it. You have some extra cash. You decide to try it out, you'll save that much money in gas anyway! What's the worst that can happen?--

[¤ Subash ¤ @SubiBrown]

@NVIDIAGeForce #GeForceRTX50

[¤ Subash ¤ @SubiBrown]

@SeeReax I played all 6 Budokai and Budokai Tenkaichi games on my ps2 years ago. My ps5 will be where I continue my budokai saga no question

[Kaiju News Outlet @KaijuNewsOutlet]

"Godzilla Minus One" has won Best Visual Effects at the 96th Academy Awards. #Oscars #GodzillaMinusOne

[¤ Subash ¤ @SubiBrown]

I'm telling my kids this was Team 7

[Anime Tweets @AnimexTwts]

BRING ME BACK 💔

[Johann @LookAtMyMeat1]

>2003

>a bunch of ex-Dragon Quest devs are tasked with making a 3D Pokemon game

>center it around double battles

>gives every Pokemon up to that point animations for getting hit, attacking, being idle, and being fainted

>attack animations change depending on the kind of move it is

>produce an actual story for the game and make the MC a shonen protag

>give him unique starters because he's just that cool

>even give him a love interest

>music is 10/10 for every single moment of the game

>doesn't baby the player, enemies will curb stomp you and use double battles to their fullest

>the final boss is an actual challenge and a test of your understanding of double battles

>produce a sequel to you absolute banger and follow it up with another banger

>Gamefreak still seethes to this day about their existence because they will never create something with even a fraction of SOUL

[¤ Subash ¤ @SubiBrown]

@lakejadue When are you gonna play? Will and I are gonna play it this year eventually

[¤ Subash ¤ @SubiBrown]

@lakejadue One of your 5x5 of all time

[same username on bsky @ElenaBjxrn]

“Just for egg. 😊 Thank you.”

[¤ Subash ¤ @SubiBrown]

I was 19 when it happened so this checks out

[leo of arakko says 🔺RESIST🔺 @arakkosuperstar]

23 is a hard year sure but i honestly think ur the worst version of urself at 19

[¤ Subash ¤ @SubiBrown]

Honestly the more I see of DBZ the more I like it, even as much as I love the series already. Still influential to this day, especially outside of its own medium. Peak 90's anime tbh no one can tell me otherwise

[Roy📚 @RoyReadsManga]

The fight choreography in Goku vs Majin Vegeta is awesome

[¤ Subash ¤ @SubiBrown]

@Saisailu97 This movie was terrifying but all the songs were straight bangers

[¤ Subash ¤ @SubiBrown]

@lakejadue You rn

[¤ Subash ¤ @SubiBrown]

@stacciaaaa I wish we had these in the US