Devon Kay

she/her
patent pending

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

Can we talk about how slut shaming is reverse Aceism?

[Billionaires Are Good @billionairespod]

Hell yeah dude what the fuck does this mean

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

@AndrewHilaryUS where u see em last

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

Can we have a Fun Home movie please? As a treat?

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

Oh nooo I sneeze farted. I snarted.

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

@whatsitpod @davetotheross @calebsynan The Car That Wouldn't Dare Go Missing Cuz She's Kinda Scary

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

@whatsitpod @davetotheross @calebsynan Devil Where's Porché

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

Fitting my belt with a wd-40 holster so I can unsqueak the bathroom doors at this community arts center. #gaysinthewild

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

This theme song has been stuck in my head for twenty years.

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

@anineffablegame Heterosexuality is the only legitimate form of love, obvi

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

"It must be said as if to a loverrr...

CALYPSOOOOO I RELEASE YOU FROM YER HYOOMANN BONNNDS..."

Barbossa is a virgin.

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

So this actually happened and I yelled for my cat to come and kill it. This is why magic avoids us, y'all.

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

all I want in the world is for a tiny mouse to approach me and be my friend and make me clothing

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

The longer I own a leather jacket, the surer I am that my descendants will treasure it. (I am a leasboan)

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

It's all "You're supposed to drink water consistently." and "You're supposed to eat food at regular intervals." IF I'M NOT CONSTANTLY RECOVERING FROM THE BRINK OF CRISIS, HOW DO I KNOW I'M ALIVE.

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

If you see a girl peeing in a cemetery, leave her be. She had a score to settle.

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

Hit some turbulence and everyone is like JUMP!!!

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

I wish back of the plane had the same energy as back of the bus.

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

Spirit airlines: Hey y'all, we got extra seats on this flight to dallas if y'all wanna hop on. Just sayin there's room if you're not doin nuthin.

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

all I want in the world is for a tiny mouse to approach me and be my friend and make me clothing

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

You ever have a friend kill so hard at a mic that you want to quit comedy?

[Devon Kay @SureDevon]

I just noticed my nose and now I can't unsee it