Surfer Dade's California Abs

A Twitter account with a sense of humor that's as sharp as its abs! Disclaimer: this user is not actually made of abs. SEVVIE award for “most jacked” #TXLege

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

@theoverturf @Senfronia4Texas @James_E_White I can't message you.... ouch.

Ms. T's "Open the Door" and Dutton's funeral cortege speech. (Both might be the same as the "if they don't respect us; they best expect us")

Rep Haggerty PP speech in which he started a roll call vote and that led to a bipartisan walkout. (2007)

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

@leachfortexas Should they rinse the gravel out of the scrape? Put ointment on it so it doesn't get infected? Where is the legal line btwn common sense and medical intervention.

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

Giving condoms to sexually active teens is common sense. Showing love & care to LGBTQ youth is common sense. Counseling -common sense.

You've legislated against all that. How does one identify what you think is common sense, when they think you lack common sense?

#txlege
🏄‍♂️

[Jeff Leach @leachfortexas]

UPDATE: Per our request, TEA will very soon be releasing new and clear guidance on this.

For now, to all our wonderful school nurses out there:

If a kid comes in with a bloody nose, please help him stop the bleeding.

If a kid comes in with a cut or scratch or scrape, please offer him a Band-Aid.

If a kid comes in from the playground with a banged up knee or elbow, please provide him an ice pack.

In other words, please use common sense and please do your job.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

Dude, it's been realer than a triple wave wipeout! Thanks for the good vibes and epic memories, bro. Stoked for you to ride the endless wave of retirement — no more legislatin', just high tides! Catch you cruisin’ the beach of freedom. Stay salty! 🏄‍♂️🌊🌴

#txlege
#surfsup

[Dade Phelan @DadePhelan]

This video from Chuck Norris about my retirement in 2026 is my last #txlege House political ad. paid for by Texans for Dade. May God Bless the House and may God Bless the Great State of Texas! #HD21 #SETX

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

Are we seriously playing I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I, #txlege racism version?

Chairman, with all due respect
-and we agree on many things - this tweet is so, so wrong.

I thought you were better than this - please educate yourself on racism and what it actually means.

[James Frank @RepJamesFrank]

It is my observation that House members that repeatedly accuse others of racism are in fact the most racist people I have ever met. They don’t seem capable of seeing people’s identity separate from their race. #txlege

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

@erindavisnews Friendly heads up: That should be "Ms. T." Always Ms. T never Rep. T

Also acceptable: Chairwoman and Representative Thompson.

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

@RyanChandlerTV Ok. Let's use precise language - the words you used can make a more accurate statement:

Rep. Collier chose to not consent to be monitored by DPS, so she was detained.

I'll give you she's not a hostage but, based on definition she is detained.
#txlege

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

You better know your rights because Reitz is trying to take 'em away.

Did I do that right?

#txlege

[Aaron Reitz @aaron_reitz]

@3SeveralDays Protect Your Rights with Reitz

The Reitz Stuff

Reitz for what’s Right

Etc.

(It’s pronounced “rights”)

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

@AleshireLaw @LoewyLawFirm Pretty sure in the 2003/Tom Delay redistricting case (lulac v perry) SCOTUS gave a thumbs up to offcycle redistricting- as long as it happens every 10 years states do it as often as you want or something.
- not a lawyer, just abs

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

@3SeveralDays You sure it's not Mayes Middleton?

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

#txlege

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

Make sure a couple different versions of your big news spreads through the #txlege gossip mill for at least 2 several days and then tell people they need to pay you for your version. I hear it makes your news more believable. Some people even call it journalism.

[Sam Hooper @LegeLawyer]

I have BIG #txlege news to report…soon. It’s not quite ready for public release yet, but (in my opinion) it’s quite magnificent, and a welcome antidote to some of the more salacious and depressing scandals swirling around! 😊😎

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

@3SeveralDays But no judgment if he be Denton her daddy. The house did vote to take the law off the books.

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

#txlege

[Senator Angela Paxton @AngelaPaxtonTX]

Today, after 38 years of marriage, I filed for divorce on biblical grounds.

I believe marriage is a sacred covenant and I have earnestly pursued reconciliation. But in light of recent discoveries, I do not believe that it honors God or is loving to myself, my children, or Ken to remain in the marriage.

I move forward with complete confidence that God is always working everything together for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose.

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

@MWatkinsTrib I think your best bet is looking on the gov's website. That's where I always read them- I'm not sure they show up on TLO?!

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

Parliamentary inquiry:
What's taking @GregAbbott_TX
so damn long to release his final #txlege veto list?

Would it be in order to make a motion that he veto all bills he hasn't signed and get it over with?

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

It was a simpler time.

#txlege

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

The most interesting part about all of that from 2007 is the fact that Craddick has continued to comeback and serve in the body for 18 more years/9 sessions with the bipartisan group of members who were trying to vacate the chair when he was was ruling with an iron fist.

#txlege

[Luke Macias @lukemaciastx]

If you’re a #txlege nerd you might find this compilation of parliamentary inquiries from 2007 with Tom Craddick interesting.

https://t.co/BpNHGqAYsP

[Surfer Dade's California Abs @SurferDadesAbs]

I'd like to offer a perfecting amendment!

#txlege

[Brad Johnson @bradj_TX]

89(R) blooper reel. #txlege
https://t.co/V877U1s2v7