So, I have a question for the #Mentalhealth side of twitter (especially those with histories of #trauma, #Anxiety, #ADHD, and related conditions)
Do you have any advice or personal anecdotes to share that helped you with unmasking and/or unlearning people pleasing?
6/6
A lot of autistic adults say they “hate being perceived”.
What we often mean is that being seen has never felt safe.
Because being noticed means being corrected, being questioned, being misunderstood.
So visibility feels like risk.
a cancer surgeon: So how did you end up getting this CT scan?
Patient: I lost 30 pounds and had night sweats. I went to my PCP first and they said it was anxiety and I should worry less. I went to urgent care bc I knew something was wrong and they gave me antibiotics. I collapsed at work and was brought to the ER and they did the scan which showed cancer all over.
Me: I am so very sorry. The foremost expert on your body is YOU and they didn’t listen.
Women’s healthcare in 2026
Me: So when you see the 4 year old boy pull the little girl's hair...
Students: He likes her!
Me: Now they are around 11 or 12 and he grabs her arm and wrestles her to the ground even though she calls him a jerk and yells at him to leave her alone.
Students: That is just how boys are.
Me: Now they are 18 and he grabs her arm and--
Students: Oh, that's not okay.
Me: Really? How would he know? How would she know? How would you know? You just told me that for the first 17 years of these children's lives that you thought it was cute, sweet, and natural for a boy to grab a girl and be rough with her.
Students: Oh.
Me: Oh, is right.
Women: I want to go for a run.
Society: You can’t go alone. You’ll get raped.
Women: I want to walk to my car in the parking garage.
Society: Alone? You better get someone to escort you, or you’ll get raped.
Women: I want to live alone.
Society: You need a gun, an alarm system, a dog and probably a gun for the dog too.
Women: What about going to the park?
Society: Dangerous.
Women: Okay, I’ll just go out for a drink then.
Society: Don’t take your eyes off your drink. Watch out for predators spiking your drinks. Stay alert at all times.
Women: I was raped.
Society: Are you sure? That just seems impossible.
Some “pro-life” dude said to me “your mom should’ve aborted you” then I said “so you agree that she should have had that choice available to her?”
Then he blocked me lol 🤷🏼♀️
Sometimes male anger at ‘women getting special treatment’ reminds me of a gorilla experiment. One gorilla gets a banana every hour. The females next to him get one every four hours. Then someone decides to be fairer and gives the females a banana every two hours instead. The original gorilla? He flips out. He's still getting his banana every hour, but it feels like a loss because his advantage shrank. That's how a lot of men react to basic fairness for women: not as justice, but as theft.
A little kid at my painting camp pulled me over to the side and said, I don't know how to ask this, but are you a boy or a girl? I can't tell.
And I was thrilled because I had passed the child pointing out your appearance means gender" test as well as being approachable enough that he could ask.
So I sat down and told him I was neither and explained that growing up I was told I was a girl but that I'm not, but I'm not a boy either.
And he just looked at me and said so you're just a person. Swear to god I had the biggest smile on my face when I told him that's exactly what I was.
For the rest of the day he just called me Izzy instead of Ms something or any gendered title and I got a hug at the end of camp.
So if you say gender is too confusing for children to understand, I have a first grader who would tell you otherwise.
“Men get raped too, you dumb bitch.”
Yes. Yes they do.
Men get raped too, and their pain is real. Their trauma matters. Their voices deserve to be heard, believed, and protected. They deserve support without shame, without mockery, and without being told to “man up” or stay silent. Survivors are survivors, regardless of gender.
So if you care so much, are you actually standing up for them? Are you holding their rapists accountable? Are you reminding men that what they wore, what they drank, how old they were, or whether they froze in fear was never the cause of their assault? Are you telling them that rape happens for one reason only: because a rapist chose to rape?
Or do men’s experiences only matter to you when you can weaponize them against women?
Because real advocacy doesn’t show up only when women are speaking about violence. Real advocacy means fighting for all survivors, even when it doesn’t serve your argument. It means creating space for male survivors to speak without turning their trauma into a debate tactic. It means caring about justice more than scoring points.
If the only time you mention male victims is to silence women, then you are not defending men. You are exploiting their trauma to dismiss someone else’s pain.
Male survivors deserve better than that.
And women do too.
This tweet changed my life. I remember when I tweeted this one random evening years ago while waiting in line for the bathroom at the ballet during intermission, I had ~5k followers at the time. When I next checked my phone, my Twitter was blowing up and I gained like 500 followers every refresh. Every opportunity I’ve had since then, professional and otherwise, has come from writing online and sharing my ideas publicly. My idea of what was possible expanded. I published a book. I met my heroes. It still blows my mind that people pay money to read my thoughts on my blog, and that every time I hit “post” a sports stadium size audience accesses it