Sarah Hopkins

the babe with the power

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

But why does this photo of Marilyn Monroe with a beard and devil horns at work look like @willam?

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

Hey @JetBlue what’s going on with your flights between DCA and BDL? This is my second delay in 4 days!

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

I’ve watched so much British TV lately that it’s starting to affect my vocabulary

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

Everyone cross your fingers that the cricket that’s been terrorizing me for 2 weeks let’s me get some sleep tonight

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

If anyone is ever considering working swing shifts 8 days in a row, my suggestion is don't.

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

"Oh so you all watch turtle porn but when I watch a guy shove a mason jar up his ass it's not okay"

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

One of my greatest insecurities stems from the fact that I don't like the pink Starbursts when they're everyone else's favorite

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

I'm only a little ashamed of how much I love La Croix

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

Wisdom teeth are the devil.

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

@BrennaNicole I am who I am 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

@BrennaNicole YOU HEARD ME

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

I am absolutely a real human adult which means I didn't just eat Dino nuggets and tater tots for lunch.

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

The best thing about my dog is that she starts sneezing uncontrollably when she gets excited

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

Mono really did a number on the skin I just spent months getting back to being acceptable

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

Just made my dog go out in the rain to pee and she's SO mad at me #PuppySideEye

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

I'm so tired of being in my bed and all I want to do is get out of the house, but I can't go to the pharmacy without a 2 hour nap after :(

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

1 day in and I'm already tired of being stuck on the couch...mono is the worst

[Mikel Jollett @Mikel_Jollett]

Just a hero with a tuba showing what dumbfucks these guys really are.

#TubasNotTorches

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

The closest I ever get to human emotion is when I think about how much I love my cats

[Sarah Hopkins @SwarlsBarkleey]

Remember that time my DARE cop got fired for buying alcohol for/sleeping with a teenager while on duty? #abovetheinfluence