Sweary Fuckin' Jesus

Tweeting on behalf of the Sweary Fucking Church of Unity, Nutters and Twats, I really am Jesus

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

What the fuck is a pinned tweet?
And how the fuck do you pin them?

Oh ok...done it...fuck I'm good at this
#thefuckingbible

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

Maybe if he hadn't eaten so many meat loaves....

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

Don't read this...it's a fucking lie

You can donate to Jesus here:
[email protected]

[Robin Bastard @robbacrab]

#SacrilegeSunday

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

I'm a fucking minefield of information

[Onken @NonHic]

They didn't teach this at my Catholic school.

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

It's my birthday soon....just reminding you I'm still here, watching everything you do, like a creepy fucking uncle

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

@ThePoke I think The Cambridge Vapist would be a great name for a vape shop...not sure why Cambridge city council turned me down...

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

Don't fucking blame me!

[Anne-Marie M @ambers196524]

Jesus Christ. We’re going back to living in black & white.

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

@DorisVulva He is a fucking legend

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

I'm not dead, I'm just stuck in a queue at a fucking petrol station

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

Boris says the fuel crisis is over...cos we all believe everything that proven fucking liar says...

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

@DorisVulva He's a fucking top dude

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

@DorisVulva Proper fucking dude

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

@DorisVulva Great pics

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

https://t.co/OdecfAGupK
A nice little tune for ya

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

Thank you for your prayers
Your prayer is in a queue
Your prayers are important to us
Prayers may be recorded for training purposes

You are number 23,417,825
#swearyfuckinjesusautomatedprayerservice

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

@DorisVulva He's a fucking legend

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

Big Zuu's big eats is the strangest fucking show I've seen in ages, it's not a proper cooking show, it's definitely not a fucking comedy show, but it's weirdly watchable shit... #Dave

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

Only if the fucker is born tomorrow

[THE Jason 𝔻𝕒𝕧𝕚𝕕 Hyatt 🤘🏼🤙🏼 @wolfast]

In two Days I will be father to an 18 year old. Do I get a medal? 😂

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

@DorisVulva Carrying stuff is for fucking chumps

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

I'm Jesus, I love any kind of tart...

[Sweary Fuckin' Jesus @SwearyJesus]

It's Monday night and I'm properly pissed
#WWJD ? get pissed on a Monday