Tiffany

i am just a little creature

[Tiffany @SxipJump]

When I die, give my body to science and fill my coffin with cool ranch Doritos

[Cygames ID @Cygamesid_en]

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[Tiffany @SxipJump]

@umamusume_eng Carrot Pudding!

[Matt Colville? @mattcolville]

Most of names in The Hobbit are just descriptions. The Long Lake, the Misty Mountains, a river called Running, a valley called Dale. Even Gandalf is a description. ‘Wand-elf.’ Beorn is Old English for Man. Bilbo’s town is Hobbit-town. The birds are named onomatopoeically.

[Dr. Sydnee Smirl McElroy @sydneemcelroy]

Today I watched my 5 yo set down a Disney Princess Mylar balloon and jab the plastic stick into it until it popped. Then she began to cry. I asked “Charlie, honey, why did you do this?” She replied “I don’t know! Everything is hard right now.”
And she is correct.

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

Holy SHIT her pause at the end. That's 'cuz her producer is SCREAMING in her ear to cut away from this guy dropping hard truths.

[Tiffany @SxipJump]

@samuelfine @itsJERMZ @amuweedy @glitch It keeps timing out on me! Any ideas why?

[The Debt Collective 🟥 @StrikeDebt]

All of them.

Never again let Elon Musk dupe you into thinking he is smart

[Chris Fleming @chrisfluming]

I have to argue fast car is the only song

[wint @dril]

for reasons none of you could ever hope to comprehend, i will now be referring to "Baby mario" as "The baby from mario"

[Grey Johnson @BoxrecGrey]

I know nobody wants political content on this account but it's 2:30am and I am awake and putting Marianne Williamson's speech to Twin Peaks music

[Tiffany @SxipJump]

@briamgilbert Holding Out For A Hero

[Tiffany @SxipJump]

Concept: a new season of AHS but it’s just me wrapping @MsSarahPaulson in bubble wrap for 13 episodes

[gluten free baguette @DerivativeSin]

what up we’re 5 White Dudes in a Band, this is our drummer Mustache SticknPoke, our bassist NailPolish Earring, lead singer Denim Glasses, and 2 guys named Matt. Altogether we have 3 famous dads, 6 DUIs, and 4 pics of us on a couch outside.Our EP ‘My ex is crazy’ out on bandcamp

[tobyfox @tobyfox]

"For Sale: baby shoes, never worn" is so sad. I can't believe the baby didn't like his new shoes.

[Tara Long @TaraLongest]

listen. i know i never tweet anymore. but i just finished watching @briamgilbert’s live #unraveled pokérap for the 27th time this week and i feel compelled to tell all of you that it’s legitimately one of the best things anyone has ever done: https://t.co/Kz6FEMKg65

[Tiffany @SxipJump]

@briamgilbert We know that’s you, sasuke

[Chris Fleming @chrisfluming]

“You look perfect” ed sheeran

[Night Vale podcast @NightValeRadio]

To err is human. To forgive is also human. The possibilities of human action are multitude.

[Night Vale podcast @NightValeRadio]

This post is sponsored by screaming. It helps!