Todd Golder

I gotta go poo poo

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

@jtimberlake @JCChasez @realjoeyfatone @IamCKirkpatrick @LanceBass

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

At the end of the day, I wipe my ass with a package of plastic forks just like everybody else.

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

Seems like there are a lot of counterfeit $7 bills going around, everyone be careful.

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

I'm so hungry I could eat a corpse

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

This person is a special kind of handicapped...

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

Believe it or not, my penis was actually in the Guinness Book of World Records. Needless to say, I got kicked out of the library

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

What if we were naturally always in a drunk state, and when we drank, it made us sober for a bit. Do you think we would drink as often?

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

It's kinda funny how every time you poop, the only thing that is separating your butthole from your fingers is a very thin piece of paper

[Sirens & Sailors @SANDSMUSIC]

Hey @adamlambert, we are playing Orlando tomorrow too. Some of us want to come see your show. That's right, a metal band likes Adam Lambert.

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

Just ordered "gizzards" from a place called "Salems". Easily one of the worst decisions of my life

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

It's about that time of year folks, and I have but one question - can you HANDLE the SANDLE?

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

Left your guitar in a car? Call William Mattar. He's at a bar that's not too far from where you are

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

Philledelphia: the rudest city in America

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

@_nicolemalone it's like the one thing I would do well in. Do well in on my swollen ankles, swollen ankles yeah

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

Today I decided to become a regular tweeter. It was a coin toss between that and a sub woofer

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

@emmabonafede to be honest, I have no idea

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

@emmabonafede I figured it was time to seal the deal

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

Sorry guys, I wish I could hang around and chat for a bit, but I gotta go poo poo

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

Woke up this morning with a loaf of bread and 32 cents in change stuck to my body #vanlife

[Todd Golder @TGoldSANDS]

Picture a butthole trying to yawn, but a penis is stuck in its way.