T R O Y

Danger is not my middle name, Amazing is! I'm always late & quick to form opinions on things I know nothing about! I like food & love my husband @simon_bright20

[T R O Y @TK150580]

3 out of the 4 voices in my head want to sleep, while the other 1 wants to know if penguins have knees!

[T R O Y @TK150580]

Me: awww cute dog *walks closer* BARK BARK Me: well, screw you too you ugly piece of shit!!

[T R O Y @TK150580]

My bank statement is basically a record of what I've eaten in the last month ...

[T R O Y @TK150580]

My goal in 2023 is to accomplish the goals I set in 2022 which I should've done in 2021 because I made the promise in 2020 which I planned in 2018!

[T R O Y @TK150580]

When people tell me "You're gonna regret that in the morning" I sleep in til noon, because I'm a problem solver!

[T R O Y @TK150580]

Stop posting your rapid test results and start posting your credit card (front and back) thank you! 😉

[T R O Y @TK150580]

Do babies named Karen even exist or do they just appear one day with three kids and want to speak to the manager?!

[T R O Y @TK150580]

My brain is like an internet browser ... 12 tabs open, 5 not responding and where the heck is that music coming from?!

[T R O Y @TK150580]

@CraigKellyMP stop texting me!

[T R O Y @TK150580]

Eat whatever you want, and if someone hassles you about your weight ... eat them as well!

[T R O Y @TK150580]

- family, sleep, laughter, hugs, friends, memories, smiles, fun ... the best things in life are free!

[T R O Y @TK150580]

Interviewer: "what are you future plans?"
Me: "lunch"
Interviewer: "I meant long term plans"
Me: "oh sorry, dinner"

[T R O Y @TK150580]

New Years Resolution: exercise (my right to eat) more (burritos)!!

[T R O Y @TK150580]

The article written by @Joe_Hildebrand “Why it’s time to start acting like a smart country” perfectly summarizes Australia!! Congrats and THANK YOU @GladysB for being a national treasure! 🙏🏼

[T R O Y @TK150580]

I hate when people ask “are you ready for Christmas” No, Karen. I’m not even ready for today!

[T R O Y @TK150580]

Waking up early is like playing life on 'expert' difficulty!l

[T R O Y @TK150580]

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk in to the blood bank. The rabbit says “I think I might be a type O” 🤓

[T R O Y @TK150580]

I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated to do nothing ...

[T R O Y @TK150580]

Why the heck are there people named Charles? You are ONE Charle!

[T R O Y @TK150580]

I just realised - "dammit im mad" is spelled the same way backwards!