TankPicks

HAMMER at your discretion #tankpicks 5-3 ‘22 NBA Playoffs (62.5%) +1.9 u 52-30 NBA All-Time (63.41%) +17.3u — ALL +18.2u

[CEO, Big Cum inc. 🇺🇦 @cum_inc]

I hate to do it but I’m gonna have to put the patented Hope the Team Plane Goes Down™️ curse on the Browns this season. Now that Big Ben is gone it is officially removed from the Steelers. Still hope his PJ crashes tho. #ThankYouBigCum

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

stop that

[titanup⚔️ @titans4L_]

@MySportsUpdate Mid

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

1-1 yesterday. Not good enough. CEO Chef is considering a company wide hot seat for all analysts.

Raptors +3
Mavericks +6
Grizzlies -3
#tankpicks #GTanka

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

TankPicks LLC is satisfied with yesterdays results. Each analyst is rewarded a $1 million raise for a correct pick, and forfeits an extremity for each incorrect one. Pretty revolutionary stuff in the gambling world.

This one’s easy folks:

Heat -1.5
Bucks -2.5
#tankpicks #tanka

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

https://t.co/HqasI6kDKR
Clearly referenced here followed by a 2-0 performance last night

[Lola G @LolaG808]

@TankPicks haven't seen a comment on this

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

2-2 yesterday was underwhelming, but the analysts aren’t scrambling. A wise man once said “patience is a virtue”, I told him to shut the fuck up and hammer

Grizzlies -1.5
Warriors -2.5
#tankpicks #tanka

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

The Cardinals franchise and fan base do not deserve this man. He is a once in a lifetime talent. #TankModels project him as the most valuable QB per 50 offensive snaps. We look forward to his first SB. #tankthoughts

[Kyler Murray @K1]

I wanna win Super Bowls with the Cardinals, AZ is home.

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

Philadelphia 76ers -2

#tankpicks #PhilaUnite

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

Tank back. The pandemic almost got us - our analysts were dropping like flies with CO2 poisoning due to the mask mandate. We apologize…the office is back up and running.

Let’s ease into this:
Nets +3.5
Nets +140
Seth Curry o11.5 pts

#tankpicks #tankreturns

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

Devin Booker (25 yo) not returning to Game 2 of the NBA Playoffs with vaginal tightness, per sources.

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

@AZCardinals #FireKeim

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

Steve Keim trying to take his kids to school #AZCardinals #RedSea

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

@AZCardinals #FireDrunkKeim

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

I believe any DUI should result in the death penalty

[brandon @warsoncentz_]

Schefter continuing to miss at an alarmingly high rate. Who will step up

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

@warsoncentz_ @AdamSchefter Clearly, a lack of ethical & legal courses at Michigan. It’s no wonder they’ve lost their stance as a reputable University. Unfortunate

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

@AdamSchefter going to feel real good when he tweets the Deshaun Watson trade 8 seconds before Rapoport. His widowed family must be proud.

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

@nick_cosellian @warsoncentz_ no indictment does not equate to innocence in our legal system. just so u know

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

It’s been a rough string of months in the TankPicks office. All analysts will have their employment terminated, effective immediately. TankPicks will respond stronger and better than ever.

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

Russia will not invade Ukraine in 2022, per sources #TankMZ #TankChatter

[TankPicks @TankPicks]

Russia will not invade Ukraine in 2022, per sources #TankMZ #TankChatter