Teebs

Sports fan ☘️ | Gratitude | @Makeship plushies | Weed connoisseur | Lover of cats, pizza, chocolate chip cookies, & surf shops. Psalm 136:1. #DifferentHere

[Selene Mariposa @Selene_Mariposa]

The World Cup has turned America into a discovery channel for the rest of the world.

And they are not handling it well.
In the best possible way.

Here is what they are discovering:

Free public restrooms. Europeans pay every time.
Free water at every restaurant. Just appears.
Free refills. Coffee. Sodas. Iced tea. Unlimited.
Free chips and salsa before you even order.
Free warm bread with dinner.
Ice in drinks like civilized people.
Air conditioning everywhere. Not a moral debate. A fact.
Parking lots attached to the actual place you are going.
Drive throughs where the food comes to the car while you sit in it.
Ranch dressing by the gallon.
Tex-Mex that cannot be explained only experienced.
Dental care that actually works.
Buccee’s. There are no words for Buccee’s.

Then they found the grocery stores.

Five of them within one mile.
Each one the size of an aircraft hangar.
Burgers. Steaks. Brisket. Ribs. Pulled pork. Lamb. Veal. Every cut of every animal ever domesticated by human civilization available in one refrigerated aisle at ten in the morning on a Tuesday.

The Germans stood in the meat section for forty five minutes.
In silence.
Processing.

They finally understand why we do not have trains.

We have roads wide enough for the cars we actually drive.
Parking lots the size of small European countries.
Airports in every city worth visiting.

Why would we need trains.

The Germans are taking ranch home by the bottle.
The Dutch found queso and briefly lost the ability to speak.
The Japanese are photographing HEB like it is the Louvre.
The Czechs are weeping in West, Texas.

Welcome to America.
Everything is free, enormous, air conditioned, comes with chips, and has five grocery stores within a mile that will sell you any cut of any animal you have ever imagined.

Write that down. 🦋

[Chivo Infante @chivoinmortal]

Maradona si hubieran existido las pausas de hidratación en México 86.

[Teebs @Teebs_____]

@1mariahtruly Hey

[⚡️🇧🇼 @Priceless_MCI]

The Spanish and Brazilian twitter are on another level 😭

[🏴‍☠️Kentucky Rebel Scum🏴‍☠️ @BonafideKRS]

I ain’t buying this turn on Bibi/Israel thing

I’ve watched enough professional wrestling and soap operas to know this script well

Gotta get them poll #’s up

[World Cup Culture @PabloDanielWC]

“America has no culture.”

This World Cup ended that argument for good.

[c. @killac4ss]

someone said Carne Asada vs Korean BBQ tonight 😂😭

[Based Cow @_BasedCow_]

"US-Iran deal is very bad for Israel."

LFG! 🔥

[Not Jerome Powell @alifarhat79]

American taxpayers realizing they funded Israel to bomb Iran, then funded Iran to rebuild what got bombed

[Teebs @Teebs_____]

@TMZ That’s how marriage works.

[Teebs @Teebs_____]

Spain and Portugal in their opening World Cup matches. #WorldCup

[Rodger Sherman @rodger]

instantly one of my new all-time favorite sports videos

[🇭🇷dylan🇵🇸 @fountinsofwayne]

Will never get over the sheer amount of piss required to cake his jeans the way he has

[Teebs @Teebs_____]

@Ennyofken Hi

[Teebs @Teebs_____]

@chideraatueyi Fb?

[Teebs @Teebs_____]

England fans are great lol.

[Teebs @Teebs_____]

@iRobmen 😋

[Teebs @Teebs_____]

@babyAirl Facts. Hi