Nick Wood 🇪🇺

Freelancer writing about telecoms and tech.
I don't post much, but when I do, you'll find it on Bluesky, not this Nazi-ridden cesspit.

[Nick Wood 🇪🇺 @Telecolumnist]

Gonna switch off my out-of-office for the next 4 years.

[Nick Wood 🇪🇺 @Telecolumnist]

Gonna put my out-of-office on for at least 4 years.

[Nick Wood 🇪🇺 @Telecolumnist]

"If you've just joined us on LBC, my guests David Cameron and George Osborne are discussing what's worse: humping a dead pig in the mouth, or 49-year-olds hitting on teenagers."

[Nick Wood 🇪🇺 @Telecolumnist]

Got me one of them new-fangled thread thingies. I have no idea how it works, I guess I might see you over there if I figure out how to use it. https://t.co/R4lTVVZkdQ

[Nick Wood 🇪🇺 @Telecolumnist]

My son's school is open as normal this week despite the strike. Reason being, the teachers know that if they walk out, some of the children will miss out on their one square meal that day.

That tells me all I need to know about your party and this government.

[Matt Warman @mattwarman]

Today Keir Starmer is announcing this week’s Labour education policy. If you care more about children and their education than soundbites, this thread on Britain’s record and future is superb.

[Nick Wood 🇪🇺 @Telecolumnist]

Just had an enlightening chat with my 6-year-old about how he will support himself financially when he's older. His plan: eat a magic bean that makes him live forever and poop money.

I'm never retiring, am I?

[Nick Wood 🇪🇺 @Telecolumnist]

They even have a pocket to collect all the tears you shed when you inevitably go to bed alone.

[Nick Wood 🇪🇺 @Telecolumnist]

@liquidindian They've actually got a very formulaic sound. Properly derivative.

[Nick Wood 🇪🇺 @Telecolumnist]

Well, at least us UK telco hacks know what we're going to be following until the end of 2024 - if not longer. #Throdafone

[Nick Wood 🇪🇺 @Telecolumnist]

@Gabeuk @telecomtails I look forward to hearing from people who churned from Three to Voda who are peeved, and people who went the other way who are also peeved... My analytical model factors in a large volume of peeve. #Throdafone

[Nick Wood 🇪🇺 @Telecolumnist]

@telecomtails @TelecomEditor One of my best buds from uni is too. It's fair to say he's been a bit up and down this season, bless 'im. Mostly down.

[Nick Wood 🇪🇺 @Telecolumnist]

@TelecomEditor has just gone to get more gin. It's going to be a good few months before she calms down again.

[Nick Wood 🇪🇺 @Telecolumnist]

Absolute scenes. The biggest comeback in playoff history.

[Nick Wood 🇪🇺 @Telecolumnist]

I'm at B&Q #Coronation

[Nick Wood 🇪🇺 @Telecolumnist]

. @TelecomEditor didn't get the alert. I guess they've booked her on that second rocket. 🤣

[Richard Osman @richardosman]

Didn't realise the Government emergency alert at 3pm was going to be about the Spurs score.

[Nick Wood 🇪🇺 @Telecolumnist]

This might (is) the rum talking, but the more I think about it, the more proud I am of those @arsenal boys tonight. Us fans can distract ourselves with other stuff, but those kids live it every day, and they tried shitting hard, and they didn't give up. #COYG

[Nick Wood 🇪🇺 @Telecolumnist]

That one that was just a drawing of a banana.

[Nick Wood 🇪🇺 @Telecolumnist]

Yes.

[. @LAHXLLUClNATlON]

can u name a more thought-provoking, artistically-complex album cover than THIS ONE??? harry styles has a mind of a genius.