Amber

an actual prairie dog peeking in on the outside world from her burrow. happily married

[Amber @TerriblyPrairie]

@JBBQ211014 thanks :) but i don't exactly have a camera personality

[Amber @TerriblyPrairie]

i worked for a broiler chicken farm from 2021 up until about a year ago, and i learned a lot during that time

[Amber @TerriblyPrairie]

20. hard work != good work

21. know when someone needs you more than you need them and be willing to call their bluff if they claim the opposite

22. never work for someone who can't give you a concrete plan

[Amber @TerriblyPrairie]

18. you can handle an emotionally distressing workplace, and you can handle a physically distressing one. but never both at once

19. your body can gain a lot of muscle quickly if forced, but it will probably also gain a lot of fat

[Amber @TerriblyPrairie]

@lettuce_isgood do you have a goal weight?

[Amber @TerriblyPrairie]

@marventhusiast very true

[Amber @TerriblyPrairie]

i don't think it's a good idea for women to disclose their body counts on this site. even (or especially) if you're a virgin, these things should really be private, and it actively jades you towards sex

[Amber @TerriblyPrairie]

@darkcobbett @BovrilG a lot of old men have said it to me. also old women tbf

[Amber @TerriblyPrairie]

@lizisamused onlyfans imo

[Amber @TerriblyPrairie]

@SCHIZO_FREQ also giving a girl flowers would've been partially to impress the parents, but since you're usually not meeting her parents on the first date nowadays, there's no point

[Amber @TerriblyPrairie]

@FoundAt5280 @Isocrates261069 if it makes you feel any better, those types never listen to me, anyway

[Amber @TerriblyPrairie]

Attention Young Women:

I am surrounded by 20 year old boys in my life that are smart, capable, hard working, and handsome. Nobody is dating them. Not sure what the deal is, but I don’t get it.

Step 1: Start playing video games

Step 2: Head to the gym and stop stuffing your face with "sweet treats" and 1k calorie coffees

Step 3: Put down your phone (when dating giving your full attention is critical)

Step 4: Dress nicely, do your hair cute, and put on light, tasteful makeup

Step 5: Register for an anime convention

Step 6: Go to the anime convention

Step 7: Ask a cute guy to hookup at the anime convention

Step 8: Don't wait to follow up. Drag him into the family restroom and do it. Then, give him your number, so he can call you for future hookups and dates

Step 9: IMPORTANT - don't expect him to plan an elaborate date. Make sure he knows you're totally cool with just hanging out at his place. Be a good guest - bring food, snacks, or wine. Don't make a big deal if his place is a mess - offer to clean it for him!

Step 10: I highly recommend wearing matching lingerie. I'm not covering that you wear lingerie, because going commando should really be saved for at least the third or fourth hookup, and if you don’t know that you have no hope here. Men want women to seduce them. You don’t have to break the bank on lingerie. Head to Victoria's Secret. Get a few different sets for different occasions. If you don’t know what men find sexy, find the nearest man at VS and ask him. Choose one that can be worn discretely under clothes for now (save the more elaborate sets for later). Bonus points snap a picture of yourself in a set and send it to him before the date

Step 11: Be a slut on the date. He isn't there to hear your life story. Act super interested in whatever he wants to talk about, like it's actively turning you on. For every time he escalates intimacy, respond with triple the enthusiasm. Touch his dick, swallow, be horny.

Provided you follow most of this guideline, you are highly likely to get yourself an opportunity to be friends with benefits.

Keep going until you find someone who you can’t imagine not letting use you for your body whenever he wants. That's when you have found a good one for you.

My life is complete with my husband as my companion. I wish you the same fortune in life. Happy Hunting.

[Chris Hatch @Dirtdog]

Attention Young Men:

I am surrounded by 20 year old girls in my life that are smart, capable, hard working and cute. Nobody is dating them. Not sure what the deal is, but I don’t get it.

Step 1: Stop playing video games

Step 2: Head to great clips and get that lettuce cleaned up

Step 3: Hit a shower (when dating hygiene is critical)

Step 4: Go clean your car

Step 5: Sign up for a yoga class

Step 6: Go to the yoga class

Step 7: Ask a cute for her phone number at yoga class (yes you can meet girls IRL and not just on the apps - 10/10 the Dirt Dog highly recommends)

Step 8: Follow up within 2 days with a phone call and ask them out for this coming weekend Friday or Saturday night.

Step 9: IMPORTANT - come up with a good game plane for date night. Get a dinner reservation, get an activity planned. Let them know in advance what you are doing so they can dress appropriately. I know you are gunna roll off the couch and head to date night, but they are not. They are going to stress about what to wear and call at least 6 different people on FaceTime to ask their opinion.

Step 10: I highly recommend you bring flowers to the door step. I’m not covering that you go to the doorstep, because if you don’t do that you have no hope here. Women want men to date them. You don’t need to break the bank on flowers. Head to Trader Joe’s. Grab 2 different kinds of flowers. If you don’t know what matches find the closest looking lady to your mom at TJ’s and ask her. Wrap the 2 flowers into 1 bouquet with paper. Bonus Points you can cut open a TJ bag and use that as the paper.

Step 11: Be a gentleman on the date. She isn’t there to hear your life story. Ask her about her. For every 1 question you answer, ask her 3. Open Doors, pay for the meal, be polite.

Provided you follow most of this guideline you are highly likely to get yourself an opportunity for date number 2.

Keep going until you find someone that you can’t imagine not being around all the time. That’s when you have found a good one for you.

My life is complete with my wife as my companion. I wish you the same fortune in life. Happy Hunting.

[Amber @TerriblyPrairie]

@freeman_j1776 it is satirical :)

[Amber @TerriblyPrairie]

@technovelist i'm fuzzy on the details of groundhog day, but wasn't the protagonist able to end the time loop somehow? in this hypothetical, you can't end the time loop no matter what you do; you're powerless. it's up to some other guy to do it

[Amber @TerriblyPrairie]

Imagine getting stuck in a time loop and having to relive your life over and over again. At first, you think that, surely, God must want you to do something, to change something about your life to make the world a better place.