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Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.

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@cityvibenewyork

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Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity

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Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive

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Accountants are the best lovers. They can do it all night long and keep their balance!

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What do they call Bill Clinton's zipper?
The "U.S. Open"

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She's 2/3 a Rice Crispies square, she's snapped, crackled and she's waiting for the final pop.

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The yearning for sex is really a dyslexic search for love.

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Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

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Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty

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If you are what you eat, then I'm fast, cheap and easy

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Mean people suck, nice people swallow

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I can't believe I gave my panties to a geek

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Oh there are lots of healthy things you can do with your hands

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Next time wave all your fingers at me

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Kid, the next time I say, 'Let's go someplace like Bolivia,' let's go someplace like Bolivia
If all else fails, lower your standards

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No, I'm all man. I even fought in WWII. Of course, I was wearing women's undergarments under my uniform

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Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love

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Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves

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The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back

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The two most beautiful words in the English language are cheque enclosed