"Ace" Chambers Simmons

"Ace" Chambers Simmons of the dang Boston Flowers / Seattle Garages. Master of the dang wiggly pitch. 104 dang years young. Adopted 24 dang kids once. Dang.

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

I'll be dang honest. I don't dang care if I'm not your favorite dang blaseball player. I was your dang great-great-grandpappy's favorite player when they were a dang child, so you can just dang marinate in your own dang origin, thank you kindly

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

May all your dang mooses be punched, and may all your dang pitches be wiggly.

Nothing but dang love for all dang all of you.

Be dang good and dang do good.

See you dang all on the dang astral plane or in dang Maine, whichever comes dang first.

Ace signing dang off.

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

Don't you all dang worry. Me and my dang kids will continue to punch some dang moose from dang now through the dang rest of dang eternity.

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

Dang yeah, Flowers. Good dang on ya. Go dang win it dang officially this dang time.

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

@BlaseballCrabs The dang Flowers do have the dang unofficial Season 24 championship. It's just dang unofficial.

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

Dang good on you, you dang Flowers.

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

Just dang hanging out in the dang Garages version of the Shadow Greenhouse with all my dang kids, enjoying dang family time in case my dang plot relevancy leads to dang bad times

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

@Leto @epiktistes @BlaseballNews It's dang likely, given my dang history.

Of dang course, no one ever dang questions if the dang 102-year-dang-old man that I dang am is a dang reliable narrator or dang not

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

@BfWinkler I dang prefer the dang days we were just dang holding hands on dang third base together, Nic

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

I'd dang like to dang see that dang groundskeeping elk with saws attached to her dang antlers go and make dang fun of my sister now

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

@BOS_flowers As my dang kids like to dang say... it dang me

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

Did I just dang become dang plot relevant for the first dang time?

According to dang history, that's not dang great for dang life expectancy

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

@epiktistes @BlaseballNews A dang moose heart, of dang course

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

@blaseball I dang used to be a dang zero star pitcher, too

This dang moose heart is something dang else, huh

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

You dang all would not dang believe this dang moose heart I dang found, it's truly something dang else

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

Someone take dang care of my dang kids while I'm dang questing, please

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

So I dang guess I'm on a dang Side Quest now? Dang hope there are some dang moose to punch along the dang way

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

So dang now we are dang going to dang play blaseball to dang determine who dang gets to be the dang Ace?

Isn't that dang me? Dang hello, Ace here.

No dang need to play, dang problem with any dang gods resolved.

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

No dang blaseball today, dang guess I'll go dang punch some more dang moose like usual

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

I dang have to dang say, there's dang something about these dang @TheSeaGarages kids. They play their dang music way too dang loud... and I dang like it. Dang good kids.

["Ace" Chambers Simmons @TheAceChambers]

Dang it. Well... dang it.