Sarah Barness

I'm a human trampoline.

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

The highest I've ever been was when I played "Tequila" with my steel drum band in high school and we got to the part where everyone says Tequila!

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

Does Duolingo teach accents? I don't want to learn Italian, but I do want to learn to sound like a Brooklyn Italian man with a beer belly

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

Celine Dion once said, "When a girl loves her shoes, she always makes them fit."
Crocs do not come in half sizes, but does this girl care? No she makes them fit.

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

@EllenCScott @StylistMagazine Emailed!

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

My mom says she can't wait for me to be bald because then she'll have her baby back and she can smell my baby skull like she used to. Send help.

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

Follow my Patreon to keep up with my breast cancer adventures: https://t.co/xZux3cnNJ2

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

Another Halloween costume idea for when I'm bald — Face, from Nick Jr.

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

Chemo is just a roundabout way of getting laser hair removal treatments, works gr8

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

Already thinking about Halloween costumes for when I'm bald. First idea: The future teller from Minority Report, Agatha.

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

Knew it

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

Starting a podcast with my sister called "Malignant Cysters." Copyright.

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

If someone could plz buy me “big girl pants” that would be great as I simply do not own a pair and everyone keeps telling me to put them on

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

Was the docu-series actually good or was it just the Phillip Glass music making it seem good? The age old question.

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

I miss u nyc

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

I have seen Fast and the Furious 1 like three times but i've never actually "seen" it, like i dont think that movie felt seen by me

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

I'm writing an exposé on my toes called Sandals

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

if i shave my dog, can she get tan, just wondering

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

giveth me the strength to stop tacking "lol" to the end of every sentence lol

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

I wonder what the pig at Crest Hardware is doing right now

[Sarah Barness @TheBadness1]

When they gonna start installing mammogram machines in synagogues? I want that mammo / high holiday special plz