Beth Sherman

Writer, comic, omnivore

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

@punchlinecopy Technical difficulties have now been removed, so it’s safe to watch from the beginning!

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

@geminibros Thanks for the weirdest Google alert I’ve gotten in a while! https://t.co/lAzcSSR1wD

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

@RealJeffCesario @robinthede @IAMQUEENLATIFAH #Masterclass. And then he climbed over the back of the couch for his live entrance!

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

@MorganicInk Comedy/variety writer (Letterman, Leno, Ellen) attempting leap to scripted. Passion is authentic, funny dialogue. Gay lady & good in a room. I pitch useful stuff, chew with my mouth closed and always have a spare charger.
#WGAStaffingBoost #WGASolidarityChallenge

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

I didn't think the high point of my election night would be vacuuming before people came over. #themorningafter #ElectionHangover

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

Women can do anything men can. Today I'm gonna pee out a campfire & pitch something shitty with confidence. #IWD2016 #InternationalWomensDay

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

NPR: What can be said about #DonaldTrump that hasn't been said already?

Me:What a down to earth guy with well thought out ideas? #GOPDebate

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

I think I may have #ADD because I really struggle with focus on individual tasks and hey, look a fire engine!

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

The vanity plate he wanted was taken, but that didn't stop him. #NeverSettle #SometimesSettle

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

Apparently, if you drink from this handicap water fountain, you won't need your wheelchair anymore! #cedarssinai

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

@BrynDonovan Thanks! I like to keep it classy. :)

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

I was going to get into a political discussion on Twitter, but I decided to slam my hand in the car door instead.

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

"I want to be the Millard Fillmore of my generation," thought no one.

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

Fun with unintentional idioms this morning! Enjoy, #England. @rickygervais @StephenMerchant @stephenfry

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

My wife won't stop talking about her orbital sander. I'm beginning to think she's a lesbian.

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

I'm hoping @Nike will come up with a #FitBit that tracks how many times I have to hear the phrase, "I like, love it so much." #MyDayInLA

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

If you're thinking about starting a blog, please first ask yourself, "Does anybody enjoy listening to me now?"

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

Dear sweatpants dude,

Please put on some underpants or cease jumping jacks.

#gymlife #fitfam

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

The only difference between me and @amyschumer is a great pair of heels and an irreproachable work ethic. #AmyAtTheApollo #hbo #sofunny

[Beth Sherman @TheBethSherman]

I can't wait for #Halloween. Usually I'm the only one at the dog park dressed as a slutty nurse.