Brett

99% of these tweets are jokes you serious fucks

[Little Caesars Pizza @littlecaesars]

@TheBloseme 🍕❤🍕

[Brett @TheBloseme]

Oh little Caesars you’re delicious @littlecaesars

[Erica @eerrriiicaa]

When I don’t text someone back, it’s ok because I’m just busy. But when someone doesn’t text me back, that’s very selfish and toxic

[caitie delaney @caitiedelaney]

Coronavirus could not possibly touch my upcoming plan to put two packets of Emergen-C into a glass of orange juice... move along luv I’m not the one

[A Spike Lee Joint @ImNoRoleModel]

Y’all still doing this thing where you pretend like people aren’t supposed to “catch feelings” after y’all have sex, spend time together and share intimate moments and conversation? Ah okay

[Kels @kels1643]

I’m only 22 and I’m so burnt out LOL what am I supposed to do for another 60 YEARs????? work???
I hate it here

[Surfline @surfline]

The wavepool wars continue. Read more about the latest project here: https://t.co/gSiV7x19c2

[Elley Duhé @elleyduhe]

I think I loved you too much

[Matt Larkin @MLarkinHockey]

Quinn Hughes... first rookie D-man with 50 points in 27 years. Wow.

[Brett @TheBloseme]

Say yes to tax money 💰💰💰💰

[Camano Island Fire & Rescue @CamanoFire]

The sun is shining, the birds are singing & @smokey_bear is back from hibernation.

Did you miss him? We did.

Someone stole Smokey last fall. Fortunately our friends at @waDNR sent a spare bear from #SedroWoolley

Remember: #OnlyYou can prevent Smokey from being stolen. Again.

[Trey Smith @SlimiHendrix]

today i learned that baby carrots are just shaved down regular carrots and not, like, a different species of carrot and honestly what the fuck

[Shafeeq @Y2SHAF]

why do baby clothes have pockets, who is going up to a baby and saying here hold this

[Huff @ThaMagicDragon]

Saw 3rd written "3th" this morning and since my brain has just been a constant loop of: threeth 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓮𝓽𝓱 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕥𝕙 ɥʇǝǝɹɥʇ 🆃🅷🆁🅴🅴🆃🅷 ⓣⓗⓡⓔⓔⓣⓗ ᏖᏂᏒᏋᏋᏖᏂ 𝔱𝔥𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔥 ɬɧཞɛɛɬɧ 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙩𝙝 ƬΉЯΣΣƬΉ ₮ⱧⱤɆɆ₮Ⱨ ᵗʰʳᵉᵉᵗʰ

...what a word...

[jazmin bean☆彡 @abortjazminbean]

People r so mean mean mean we rlly need more empathy in the wrld the lack of understanding for anyone or anyone’s energy or state or capacity is horrible , u know 5% of what someone is going through , ok throwing phone in the bin the internet is upsetting to exist on :(

[Megh Wright @megh_wright]

I hate finding out that people who seem very kind and sweet are actually assholes. But I loooove finding out that people who seem like assholes are actually very kind and sweet. I hear too much about the former!

[gabs @Gabrielitaa8]

Me going back to the streets after another failed talking stage.