The Camel Awakens

i crawled up out of the sewers to discover the latest in "Content"

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

oh, and just for the record— i will NOT excuse your dear aunt sally

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

preheating my oven to 15 degrees fahrenheit to cool down my ice creaom

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

i want to know what kind of fucked up website you get transported to if you scan a qr code thats all white

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

supervillain citing evil sources on wickedpedia

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

haters are just jealous of the visions of sugarplums dancing through my head

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

every elementary school's got the one kid who high-fives like hes trying to blast the skin off ur hand

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

watching weather channel reruns to catch up on the lore

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

oh youre holding a yard sale? sounds fun, but i'll pass. i already have a yard

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

please, Mr. Kong was my father. call me Donkey

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

“im largely ambivalent to it when you call me Big Poppa” –the notorious M.E.D.I.U.M.S.I.Z.E.D.

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

i come from the future bearing a warning. in 2030 theyre going to release an inexplicably grimdark mario game and it's just going to be called MARIO

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

[evil ludacris voice] i got foes in different area codes

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

bad news, commander: the ants have been reported to be marching in. yes, one by one. no, sir, there’s nothing to hurrah about

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

no one scathes anything these days. you can get through something unscathed, or read a scathing review, but no one just scathes anything in the literal sense

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

she’s got that hourglass figure. full of sand

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

my empirical and data-driven cascada cover, "70% of the times we touch", is going over poorly with the girlfriend

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

i think it's time that the british government appoint a human as Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office. why have we been letting the cats outplay us on this point

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

am i interested in a spelling bee? uh yeah that’s an easy one. it’s b-e-e

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

the issue with god is that everything he creates has this same , very photorealistic art style. it's pretty competently executed, but id just like to see some more versatility from him, is all

[The Camel Awakens @TheCamelAwakens]

“r/relationship_advice
My (M15) idiot ass brother John (M12) just slept through the morning bells. What should I do?
786 upvotes • 224 comments”

–Reddit in the Frere Jacques universe