Carla Gordon

just a stupid baby comedian who’s trying her absolute best 💖💘✨

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

Dua Lipa’s formal name is Dua Liverpool Institute for Performing Arts

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

Let me die in the way my ancestors would have wanted, in a freak accident at Top Golf

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

Me using my one phone call in jail to yap with my bestie and get the goss:

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

@elainefellows_ sold out this show by the way and is a fantastic comic so in summary, I hate that this account and others like it exist and being a woman in comedy sucks xxxxxxxxx

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

The fact there's even an account called 'Women Posting L's' is so depressing and makes me think of all the times I've seen established comedians saying they hate being asked what it's like being a woman in the industry - I understand why but it's still necessary to talk about

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

death comes for us all (aka. 12 years on twitter)

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

@ycove to the tune of mustang sally

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

Mr Targett was my history teacher and the nicest man in existence and I love him so much so big up to him and his 9,000 year old family xoxoxoxo

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

A 9,000-year-old skeleton was discovered inside a cave in Cheddar, England, and was affectionately dubbed "Cheddar Man." DNA testing confirmed that a living relative lived approximately half a mile away, tracing their lineage back nearly 300 generations.

In 1903, while conducting excavations in Cheddar Gorge, Somerset, UK, researchers stumbled upon a remarkable find: the skeletal remains of a Homo sapien who had lived around 9,000 years ago. This individual ranks among the oldest modern humans ever found in Britain. The discovery occurred serendipitously during a drainage renovation within the tourist attraction of Gough's Cave.

Cheddar Man thrived during the Mesolithic period roughly 9,000 years ago. Most likely, he was a hunter-gatherer who passed away in his twenties and stood at a height of approximately 5 feet, 5 inches.

The use of cutting-edge technology has enabled researchers to reconstruct Cheddar Man's facial features, determine his skin and eye coloring, and even discern the texture of his hair. Genetic material extracted from one of Cheddar Man's molar teeth allowed scientists to identify Adrian Targett, a retired history teacher, as a relative.

Upon analysis, it was revealed that Targett's family lineage had endured in the Cheddar Gorge region for approximately nine millennia, with genes passed from mother to daughter through mitochondrial DNA, inherited from the egg.

In simple terms, Adrian Targett and Cheddar Man share a common maternal ancestor.

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

@harrymonaghan life is a béchamel and then you die 😔

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

@acaitlinpowell I’m so sorry!! This is absolutely heartbreaking and I hope you’re doing as ok as you could be given these circumstances 💖💖

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

@tillysteele This kills me every time

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

there are many mysteries in this world but perhaps the greatest one is why do boys love led lights so much?

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

@kenchengcomedy I tanked the Edinburgh comedy awards to make people care more about my victory in the fringe magnet awards - you’re welcome comedy xoxo

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

Oh y’all think adding your boyfriend to your WhatsApp pic is a hard launch? That’s cute!

I added mine to my email signature 💪

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

@Churlie100 Great list! I’d also add @SarahRoberts___ to it as well if possible!! 🥰

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

@Spectatoreab Stones in his pockets

[Yiannis Cove @ycove]

In an episode that was recorded nearly a year ago (my bad), @TheCarlaGordon joins me to defend the movie A Dog's Purpose. We talk of our love for all things dog related, Carla's hate of Mark Ruffalo, and whether we are more mouse or rat faced.

https://t.co/y3mNcGalfO

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

Sorry to be this person but over 50% of the tickets for this incredibly romantic comedy feast have already GONE so if you want to come you should get yours soon to avoid me having to tell you that you should have listened to me earlier? 💕💓💖💝💓💕💖💝💓💝💕

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

@AlexEdelman @tony_spumoni Good Neighbour in Camberwell & Peckham is great!

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

Ticket link hereeee: https://t.co/rHJrkBLEgd

[Carla Gordon @TheCarlaGordon]

If you’re looking for plans on Valentine’s Day why not come spend an hour with some gorgeous comedians at @billmurraypub? We’ll make you snort laugh in front of your date!!! Or bring your single pals there are NO RULES JUST SEXY JOKES AND A GOOD TIME! 6.30pm-7.30pm!