Portal Window Phone Guy

pls tune yr ear to the void

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

I love Allen and I can't wait to see Allen

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

now that twitter is like wandering a wasteland desert. Perhaps I will begin to use it to talk about my crushes

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

@PfalzCity Mine was [email protected] lets be e-penpals

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

I think one of the states should change its name. that’d be wild

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

@PfalzCity actually they should all be renamed to reflect how we’re in the age of the internet. Shit like everyone’s first email address. [email protected]

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

@vermin_REAL his paintings are 🔥🔥🔥

[wint @dril]

what if the hurricane swept me up and blew me into the electric chair of a jail. WOuld my friends care? No. Would they say its my fault? Yes

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

@ichliebebrot123 I loooooove the Valvoline crewww

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

hellooo God? Bartender?

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

had a dream someone was like “man it’s been awhile since we went to Chili’s! we should go soon” and I was like Okay. Yeah

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

Homie of the Day: Zach Price

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

@jazzedki be like “yeah I’ve been checkin the obituaries”

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

one of my favorite things about the world-building of Dune is how in Fremen culture when you challenge someone to a fight to the death you don’t give em any platitudes or honorable words or whatever. No white-knight shit. Just square up and say “Get Fucked”

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

MAY THY KNIFE CHIP AND SHATTER!!!

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

talking to some graffiti boys lowered my blood pressure. fucked up

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

Top 10 Meryl Streep Death Scenes Compilation

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

absolutely brutal K.O. by Mamma Mia 2 every time. sobbing like a bitch

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

getting ads for “largest selection of ninja weapons”

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

incase you were wondering the lizard situation at the petco in middletown is absolutely phenomenal

[Portal Window Phone Guy @TheChelseaMotel]

hittin the Prosecco’s little too hard at PF Changs