TheDeadpool

Mercenary for hire, mildly delusional schizoid, likes cheesy puffs.

[TheDeadpool @TheDeadpool]

@Jason_Todd Obviously I have a magical, precognitive, digital camera.

[Fright @Mistress_Fright]

The best part of 2010. Paying @TheDeadpool to hit @Damian_Wayne in the head with a toaster. Money well spent. #2010memories

[TheDeadpool @TheDeadpool]

@Jason_Todd Now, I'm sure you'll counter with something like "Then why do these pictures have my domino mask on the nightstand" but still.

[TheDeadpool @TheDeadpool]

@Jason_Todd Look, I know it's hard for you to accept, but Inez did have a life before she started dating you and stopped flirting with me.

[TheDeadpool @TheDeadpool]

@dr_crane Hey, I have all kinds of stuff! Guns, knives, halitosis, psycho exes, one of your zombie-chewed shoes, nude pics of @crazyinez .

[TheDeadpool @TheDeadpool]

@thomas_schiff Ok, just so you know, in regards to that earlier tweet about gifts, your snuggie is in the *smaller* box.

[TheDeadpool @TheDeadpool]

@Tony_Stark_CEO Tony Tony Tony! How you been, man? I saw some guys that looked like you, but weren't. Is it cause I have no loot?

[TheDeadpool @TheDeadpool]

@Amemait Now I'm picturing that freak in a giant pink Snuggie. ::shudders::

[TheDeadpool @TheDeadpool]

A warning to anyone who hasn't opened their gift from me: I like Andy Sandburg and I regenerate lost limbs. Open accordingly.

[TheDeadpool @TheDeadpool]

@rion_yamaki Blue screened!? Are you a robot? ::squints at eyes:: Do you have x-ray vision? Are you the Son of X-51? ::starts singing::

[TheDeadpool @TheDeadpool]

@Oracle_Gotham @Amemait Right, so I need to add 2 more snuggies to my x-mas shopping list.

[Wonderella.bsky.social @wonderella]

I'm so sick of 3D, I'd watch a 1D movie by now. Yes, I'd watch a thin line for two hours if the alternative is Yogi Bear

[TheDeadpool @TheDeadpool]

@Joe_In_LasVegas Don't worry, fixing crazy is ALWAYS a temporary thing. Like, even more than dying. Hell, look at me.

[TheDeadpool @TheDeadpool]

@Amemait The only reason you're even asking is that you haven't tasted the heavenly Thanksgiving raptor.

[TheDeadpool @TheDeadpool]

@SuperMiloCat Oh yeah, I keep forgetting that didn't actually happen for most of us. Never mind. Nothing to do with the end of the world.

[TheDeadpool @TheDeadpool]

Tastes like... extinction. And thermite.

[TheDeadpool @TheDeadpool]

::starts chopping and flailing wildly at the velociraptor corpse:: HA! ::pulls off leg, sits down, takes a bite and chews::

[TheDeadpool @TheDeadpool]

::walks out of room, returns moments later with a cheap samurai costume over his outfit, fake top-knot over his mask, katana out:: HYAAA!

[TheDeadpool @TheDeadpool]

@Amemait I'm pretty sure these things eat squirrels, so she'll probably thank me. Possibly even throw a banquet in my honor or something.

[TheDeadpool @TheDeadpool]

::looks into bag:: Now THIS! is a drumstick ::pulls leg, frowns, pulls harder, grunts:: Fine, if you want to be difficult...