Dustin Black

Louisville. Writer. Asshole.

[Dustin Black @TheDustinBlack]

Now, Asher! now, Tanner! now Paisely and Braxton! On, Ashlynn! on, Easton! on, Taylee and Tristen!

[Dustin Black @TheDustinBlack]

Boarding up the windows of buildings in Springhurst is like putting a Band-Aid on a cast.

[Dustin Black @TheDustinBlack]

@BernieSanders

[Dustin Black @TheDustinBlack]

#FeelTheBern #mikejones #FeelTheBern2020 #idontunderstandtwitter #rtthisshit

[Dustin Black @TheDustinBlack]

The same people who say shit like "snowflake" and blame millennials for their inability to adapt to changing social norms also invented fucking Waterbeds, so let's just keep that in mind.

#illcomeupwithsomebetterstuff
#okbommer

[Dustin Black @TheDustinBlack]

Man, @GovMattBevin gets voted out of office and then the Wildcats lose to fucking Evansville, must be hard being a Republican in Kentucky lately.

#fuckmattbevin
#illcomeupwithsomebetterstuff

[Dustin Black @TheDustinBlack]

Don't believe for one second that you don't already possess everything you need to improve yourself, Taco Bell has been creating new menu items using the same ingredients for decades.

#illcomeupwithsomebetterstuff

[Dustin Black @TheDustinBlack]

If you've convinced yourself that nobody likes you and you feel as if nobody would miss you if you weren't around, just remember that Epstein didn't kill himself.

#illcomeupwithsomebetterstuff
#Epsteindidntkillhimself

[Dustin Black @TheDustinBlack]

@Sethrogen's laugh sounds like trying to start your car when you're out of gas.

#ThirstyThursday #illcomeupwithsomebetterstuff

[Dustin Black @TheDustinBlack]

The last thing American women needed today was another misogynist sliding into their inbox without provocation.

#illcomeupwithsomebetterstuff
#PresidentialAlert
@POTUS

[Dustin Black @TheDustinBlack]

How can @POTUS claim to be building a border wall when he can't even build a cabinet that doesn't fall apart?

#illcomeupwithsomebetterstuff

[Dustin Black @TheDustinBlack]

Aerosmith's "Dream On" but it's a @thegreypoupon commercial and @IamStevenT sings "Dijon" instead.

#illcomeupwithsomebetterstuff

[Dustin Black @TheDustinBlack]

@Colin502 @Folgers I seriously have no idea what I'm doing on this platform.

[Dustin Black @TheDustinBlack]

@Folgers When I die I want to be cremated and have my remains stored in a Folgers can, it'll be the best part of never wakin' up.

#illcomeupwithsomebetterstuff

[Dustin Black @TheDustinBlack]

@motel6 If Indiana was a customer pulling into the Motel 6 parking lot, management would turn the lights off.

#illcomeupwithsomebetterstuff