Theemmygoesto

I'm a human and my breathing tube is next to my eating tube. And look, my arms end in stupid little sticks!

[Alex Edelman @AlexEdelman]

Kinda messed up that Fathers get a day and Sharks get a whole week when you consider that fathers attack way more people a year

[Theemmygoesto @TheEmmyGoesTo]

I know that I will never feel happiness because of the way dishwashers smell.

[Theemmygoesto @TheEmmyGoesTo]

We're producing TWO burning question episodes this season. Ask Amy and Tammy anything!!!!

[TLC Network @TLC]

Here's your chance to ask Amy & Tammy your burning questions! Submit your #1000lbSisters questions and you may see it answered on a future episode. Click here > https://t.co/gkmSsV6SaL

[Theemmygoesto @TheEmmyGoesTo]

I'm flying to Florida tomorrow and I can't decide between wearing my pro-choice, disarm hate, march for our lives, or support trans futures shirt.

[Theemmygoesto @TheEmmyGoesTo]

Me when my phone rings while I'm getting my nails done: "I'm so sorry I'm gonna answer this really quick, it's a work call."

Me answering said work call: "Hiya sweet cheeks! What's going on?"

[Theemmygoesto @TheEmmyGoesTo]

Turns out you can just main line a jar of hot fudge straight from the fridge and it makes a delightful mid-day depression snack.

[Theemmygoesto @TheEmmyGoesTo]

I'm in my chaotic texting era and I love it. Typos? Leave em. Punctuation? I don't know her.

[Theemmygoesto @TheEmmyGoesTo]

@MeghanEvans Meghan.

[Theemmygoesto @TheEmmyGoesTo]

I'm healing my inner child one crew sock at a time.

[Theemmygoesto @TheEmmyGoesTo]

@dyllyp Is this actually surprising though?

[Theemmygoesto @TheEmmyGoesTo]

Today during family dinner I got to hear about how my 4-year-old had an "intruder drill" where he watched his teacher move furniture in front of the door while he and his friends hid in a bathroom. He then asked me "what happens if the intruder has a gun and kills the teacher?"

[Theemmygoesto @TheEmmyGoesTo]

Me this morning, to my therapist:
Sorry I'm late my pants were on inside out.

[The New York Times @nytimes]

Tucker Carlson, the host of the most-watched show on prime-time cable news, uses a simple narrative to instill fear in viewers. We analyzed 1,150 episodes to see how he promotes extremist ideas and conspiracy theories. Revisit our analysis from April 2022. https://t.co/uwH5BC0iRb

[Theemmygoesto @TheEmmyGoesTo]

@MeghanEvans WICMP

[The New York Times @nytimes]

In Opinion

"One in 25 American 5-year-olds now won’t live to see 40, a death rate about four times as high as in other wealthy nations," writes David Wallace-Wells. "Firearms account for almost half of the increase." https://t.co/4MKH7XHn8d

[Theemmygoesto @TheEmmyGoesTo]

I am never more vulnerable than when my eye twitch is back.

it's back.

[Theemmygoesto @TheEmmyGoesTo]

Turns out I'm not depressed I just needed to listen to my Summer 2014 Playlist.

[Megan Amram @meganamram]

Today was the day Donald trump finally became president

[Theemmygoesto @TheEmmyGoesTo]

If you saw me sobbing in my car this morning it's because I had just dropped my 4 year old off at school and I'm not sure if he'll be murdered there or not. #thisisamerica