The Expendables

We're just a group of world weary veterans using our touch knowledge to make the world a better place!

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

The Expendables are ready for their annual trip to the @TouchMallorca tournament.

Grenades have been thrown, bullets have been bitten and flame throwers unleashed - and that was just in @t_unit_boom’s bathroom this morning after suffering debutant nerves... #bathroombash

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

Nine players, seven jerseys and eight functional shoulders had delivered us two wins and a draw this morning. It’s beer o’clock and time to shine #theexpendables #philosophyandcomedy #your

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

Hey @TouchMallorca! What’s this with 15 minute halves this weekend‽ That’s 12 minutes longer than any of our guys ever last - and they’re rarely up for a second shift #endurance

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

Twitter recently trialled having 280 characters. We’re trialling 3 extras this weekend as we head to @TouchMallorca #theexpendables #cartoonollie

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

@AliceWatchorn @mel_day #evenmoreexpendablethanithought

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

Congrats to one of our areolaic favourites @WSerocold on his dissertation. In other news, we recommend @kazm85 for high school/uni tutoring.

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

For those anxious to know, WE WON! Well, we won second. Second in the bowl. So technically seventh, proving ourselves thoroughly #expendable

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

Pez reps #21 Smilee. Smilee almost never smiles. Pez almost never wins when playing with @TheExplendables #pezdispenser #kissmybicep #bigwig

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

Dom reps Chuck Norris as #8 Booker. Just like Chuck, Dom once got bitten by a cobra and after 5 days of excruciating pain...the cobra died.

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

@WSerocold Send it through to #theexpendables hun. We'll sort you out!

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

#theexpendables #jumpifyournameisnotrichardnienaber #OuiSnap

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

@Dafs_w is #16 Drummer. In the movie Drummer is responsible for black ops WET workers. Dafs's calves are responsible for making us WET.

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

Introducing our debutantes. First is @jac247 as #10 Doc holding up what he used to conduct the prostate exam on @Roo_Tang #checkyourprostate

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

The squad is in Nice. Finding a couple of bottles of wine for lunch isn't our only #couplegoal for this weekend #theexpendables

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

Hi Justine Conway @justinemack9 - can you give us an Easter weather forecast for Nice, France? Thanks! #hopingforawetweekend #justineconway

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

Three days to go until we hit Nice for the @TouchAzur tournament. We'll be pushing harder for the win than our main man Tool #push #bogan

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

Congrats to our young friends at @UOBathTouch on winning the University Touch Series title. In related news, happy birthday to @kazm85!!!

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

Welcome to twitter @dannidizzle6 - as the only touch player in the world with a better rig than @Schwarzenegger, we salute you #fangirling

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

We'll miss you @UOBathTouch. Especially @kazm85 and her planned tutorials for the youngsters #theboysoftodayareourmenoftomorrowmorning

[The Expendables @TheExplendables]

Pumped for April's @TouchAzur tournie! Nice was founded in c. 350 BC, the same year @Roo_Tang's Mayan ancestors found Mesoamerica #funfact