Jasper Frazee

Honey leave the kids at home

[Daniel Hannan @DanielJHannan]

An apt day to remember that Dolly Parton once recorded a cover of Stairway to Heaven - and, in defiance of every moral law in the universe, she absolutely owned it.

[Karen Howell @karenehowell]

Rude of the Ravens to invite Diego Pavia to their mini-camp instead of their regular-size camp.

[smalls @StephieSmallls]

what’s this lil fucks record

[archive 🌈 @dollcinema]

open my shell??? ....but of course ;)

[CantaLoupe @CantALoupe_FF]

There's literally a Chubb/Woody backfield and it's like none of you care.

[demi adejuyigbe @electrolemon]

i can think of a context in which i would enjoy almost every song you guys have called the worst. struggling to think of a song so bad that i wouldn’t still cut up the dance floor to it surrounded by loved ones. sorry for party rocking

[Audrey Horne Updates and Rumors @credenzaclear2]

mom just sent me this pic of my dad’s charcuterie board

[The Sietch of Sci-Fi | @TSoS_]

A young woman on my 11 hour flight watched Dune Part II, then apparently discovered that there is a Part I, watched that and then rewatched the entirety of Part II and I think she may have had the best time of her life.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Charli XCX Does Line Of Coke With 11-Year-Old Make-A-Wish Fan
https://t.co/qrLysF3th1

[internet hall of fame @InternetH0F]

He made a nether portal out of obsidian

[Pitchfork @pitchfork]

A collab that’ll make you shut your laptop and sit in silence

https://t.co/f7BDNUkyPS

[Mania💫 X-Men Era @NovaMania17]

why would anyone buy a lego set with only a single piece?

[chance @chanceposts]

they’re doing this to me at work tomorrow

[Boots, 'with the fur' @afraidofwasps]

Shitfaced 1800s doctor about to amputate my leg: Gnnah bite down on this're Rag (handing me bloody rag) But ya might wannna a Drinjk this here bottleah n l take the edge offa- (tossing me flask)

Me: (gagging bc i only like seltzers but trying to look cool) It's smooth ,