The Functional Addict

I am. functional addict..... but aren’t we [email protected] tell me your story....

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

I always wanted to get into the porn industry. I finally just invested into cocktail sauce.

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

What is happening in Cuba is a preview of what’s coming to the US. Praying for the people #FreeCuba

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

@TimJDillon I will be your driver! I’m a great driver, even taking defensive driving class, and advance tactical driving. Need to escape my life! #BoringLife

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

My job just let us take off our masks. I was hired last November. People be uglier than I thought. All peoples #maskless

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

Cosby case overturned! Break out the jello and date rape drugs! What a country! Sad day people
#BillCosby #CosbyCase

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

Charges be dropping like women be dropping around Bill Cosby #BillCosby

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

@marknorm Eating edible = weed eater

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

I just signed up for Dr. @davidasinclair's new test that will tell me how fast I'm aging — thought you would want to know too! Don't worry, I won't tell! https://t.co/07wXJijtJJ

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

I just signed up for Dr. @davidasinclair's new test that will tell me how fast I'm aging — thought you would want to know too! Don't worry, I won't tell! https://t.co/07wXJijtJJ

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

I just signed up for Dr. @davidasinclair's new test that will tell me how fast I'm aging — thought you would want to know too! Don't worry, I won't tell! https://t.co/07wXJiB4Bh

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

@JohnnyCamacho When she catches you peeping through the blinds at her.... 😜

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

Libs for 4 years said the election 2016 was rigged by the Russians. Was that just motivation to rig 2020? I don’t know why they r loosing their shit over republicans questioning this election? “It’s damaging the country” wtf did they do for 4 years? Same shit.... I hate politics

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

I got shit going up my back!!!! Finding it 3 days later like a dusty ham sandwich between the couch cushions....

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

I’ve always been a skinny dude but put on 10lbs during COVID. Idk how you Pound Puppies walk around like this much less wipe your own ass! #PoundPuppies

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

I had a “near LIFE experience” last night doing stand up. #comedy

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

Started naming my shits after car models... yesterday was a Charger after Mexican for lunch.

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

Do 18 wheelers really need all 18 wheels? I think they are just trying to make up for something.....

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

@ericarhodes I just found out it was still May and not June......

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

@marknorm I’m your assman! If not I’m going to Austin with all the other douches. I will live in the car, keep it impeccably clean, and I will walk your pussy! and the cat too!

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

@marknorm not a jk. I will b your assistant. I’m a system engineer, hate my life, best driver I know. Will move your car every 15 mins. Will book travel, no bs. Need a change man!

[The Functional Addict @TheFunAddict]

Film it! “Ass Normand” got my own laptop!