The Garfather

-CFB Handicapper
-Family-Friends-Steaks-Vegas
-There was one guy who was worse at sports betting than me, and he died last week.
-Prefer sleep to being woke.

[The Garfather @TheGarfather]

Van, look at the bracket real quick and just give me a guess. If I want Morocco will I be better off doing a rolling "to advance" parlay or taking a future right now in the 40:1 range? Favorites are most rolling in knockouts so far...I usually lean to parlays, but not sure. Thanks

[The Garfather @TheGarfather]

@coversvanzack Van, can you take 90 seconds to review the bracket please. I am wondering if Moroccan futures are the play or just do a roll over? Thanks.

[The Garfather @TheGarfather]

@coversvanzack @emailsfromparis I wonder if that Dutch girl with the big cans they just showed was the daughter of the woman you almost gave up your life for at the WC 30 years ago.

[The Garfather @TheGarfather]

@coversvanzack They analyze crowd noise and excitability from all the neutral observers. (I have no idea)

[The Garfather @TheGarfather]

@coversvanzack At least Groups G and H will feature sides motivated to win

[The Garfather @TheGarfather]

@coversvanzack Japan wants a loss (maybe just 0-1) and Sweden wants a draw. 2nd place faces Brazil. 3rd faces a team far less imposing than Brazil. Perverse incentives created by a shitty bracket and format.

[jamie lissow @jamie_lissow]

Happy Father’s Day.
No kidding I think if this conversation goes differently my whole life is different & I like this one. I lost my dad in 1996 but think of stories like this everyday.
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads, except for that one we saw at the mall yesterday pulling his kid with a leash. I still stand by my belief that if you put your kid on a leash they should be able to poop on the floor.

[The Garfather @TheGarfather]

@SwearingSport I hated that goal, I lost a bet on Italy to win the group. If memory serves, they didn't even advance

[Zlatan Ibrahimović @Ibra_official]

The studio will never forget

[The Garfather @TheGarfather]

@coversvanzack Van, nice to see you again. IYO, are the totals accurately reflecting the new heightened importance of goal differential or do they feel a bit low, at least in the first 2 games of the group play?

[Jacob Turner @TheJacobTurner]

A PARENT’S JOURNEY THROUGH YOUTH SPORTS:

Age 5: “He’s got a cannon.”
Age 6: “He’s the fastest kid out there. Coach said so.”
Age 7: “Rec ball isn’t challenging him anymore.”
Age 8: “We tried out for select. Obviously made it.”
Age 9: “$2,800 for the season. Plus uniforms. Plus tournaments. Plus hotels.”
Age 10: “Cooperstown is basically a family vacation, right?”
Age 11: “He needs a hitting guy. And a pitching guy. And probably a mental performance coach.”
Age 12: “I’m not a crazy sports parent. The OTHER parents are crazy.”
Age 13: “We changed schools. For academics. (And also baseball.)”
Age 14: “Showcases are a requirement at this age.”
Age 15: “Ya his ranking just ticked up. We’re cooking.”
Age 16: “He just needs to get seen by the right school.”
Age 17: “The D1 schools want him to walk on. He’ll earn a spot by sophomore year.”
Age 18: “Okay, D2 is actually really competitive.”
Age 19: “He’s redshirting. Strategic.”
Age 20: “He’s focusing on school now.”
Age 21: “You know what? He’s so much happier.”

Roughly 7% of high schoolers play in college.

About 1.5% of those get drafted.

Less than half of draftees ever play one day in the big leagues.

The odds of our kids going pro are somewhere between “struck by lightning” and “find a $100 in old shorts.”

I love youth sports (all my kids play a bunch of them) just keep a good perspective my friends. ✌️

[The Garfather @TheGarfather]

@MLFootball The incongruence of the 4th down rule and 2pt conversion is what makes no sense to me. If only the fumbler can advance it, then that should be true on every high leverage play IMO

[The Garfather @TheGarfather]

@theepicmap Environmentalism is a part of the story, but the trade off is the beauty you get.

[The Garfather @TheGarfather]

@Ford_Nick A ribeye with pan or plancha crust, in lieu of grillmarks. Still delicious anyway you do it though.

[The Garfather @TheGarfather]

@Gambleballs On, better avoid the 3 putt

[The Garfather @TheGarfather]

@ClusterOfMotifs @escapefrommelos This entire special is one of the funniest stand ups ever.

[The Garfather @TheGarfather]

@MarkChangizi LMK when you figure it out. This pretty much all sounds good to me.

[The Garfather @TheGarfather]

@BBallSchoILL Roster size doesn't allow for specialization. If they allowed 65 or 70 guys on game day you could do a lot more fun things with different types of bodies and skill sets.

I've spent way too much time thinking about this.

[The Garfather @TheGarfather]

@24hour_zz I am not certain that man's gear is OSHA-approved