The Garlic

The news told the right way.

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

BREAKING: Scotland to permanently close all golf courses in the hope that no recently unemployed bigots attempt to move there #BidenHarris2020 #TrumpTantrum

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

🚨BREAKING: The Grinch to release a statement outlining his shock that someone has been more evil than him this Christmas #ToriesPartiedWhilePeopleDied #PMQs #downingstreetparty

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

As Chief Medical Officer Sir Chris Whitty mutters ‘next slide please’ for the 1000th time, it becomes clear that the man helping to plan the UK’s corona-virus action plan is still not trusted enough to control his own powerpoint #coronavirus #DowningStreetBriefing

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

Man claims he’s seen better days #GoodFriday #Easter #JesusChrist #Jesus

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

BREAKING: Piers Morgan leaves Good Morning Britain and many hope that he leaves Britain for good in the morning #goodriddance #piersmorgan

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

UK government amazed at vaccine success and start to wonder if those annoying science nerds were right all along #COVID19Vaccine #COVID19

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

North Korea-US relations sour after Trump’s Snapchat ban results in an end to his and Kim’s snapstreak #TrumpBanned #TrumpTwitterBan

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

After 4 years of spreading misinformation, Twitter bans Trump before any damage is done. #TrumpBanned #trumpbanned #TrumpTwitterBan

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

BREAKING: Door named as main suspect #capitol #CapitolBuilding #CapitolHill #USCapitol #WashingtonDC

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

EXCLUSIVE: Plans for tier 5 delayed over concerns for nations hands #Tier4 #lockdownuk #Tier3

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

Santa’s sleigh crashes into the wilderness after Christmas spirit drops to 0% due to dodgy brexit deal being announced #Christmas  #BrexitDeal #RejoinEU

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

With Britain becoming increasingly caved in, new wave of anxiety grips Brits at thought of being trapped with shouty flag wankers and constant drizzle forever. #BrexitIsland #BorisFailedBritain

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

Northerners again in utter dismay after London and South East get to trial new #Tier4 before everyone else #Lockdown3 #christmasiscancelled #London

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

UK volunteers to go into a third lockdown in the hope that it stops the spread of royals moving across country #RoyalTrain #COVID19

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

BREAKING: Pfizer to immediately recall worldwide distribution of its vaccine after armchair scientist Sandra (54) from Cornwall tweets that ‘it’s full of rubbish’ #COVIDIOTS #Pfizer

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

BREAKING: Leaked files show that the MP title Priti Patel holds actually stands for massive prick, but everyone was too afraid to tell her #Prittster #BullyPatel

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

Paul McCartney excited to announce that the sun has finally come. ‘Better late than never’ he giggled to the press #wednesdaythought

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

Joy as villain finally defeated, bringing horror franchise to an end. #DominicGoing #DominicCummnings #TheGarlic

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

BREAKING: Scotland to permanently close all golf courses in the hope that no recently unemployed bigots attempt to move there #BidenHarris2020 #TrumpTantrum

[The Garlic @TheGarlic2]

BREAKING: America forced to recount votes after forgetting what number it was on #Voting #Elections2020 #ElectionDay