Sammer Batarseh

I beez in the trap.

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

Anyone who follows/loves sports in any kind of way reads every title of an episode of @pablofindsout and just prays (no pun intended @TimTebow ) it’s not their team or themselves. Can’t wait to see Tim tonight on a couch with @ramonashelburne 😂

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

@Ritahhhh I’m just jealous that I’m not the bff you’re referring to. 😞

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

@Ritahhhh She’s just a girl trying to make it in this crazy world. Is she the alien? Are Parisians the aliens? They’ll figure this out together as HUMANS. I laugh, I cry, I am here for this. #EmilyInParis2

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

@RealSamBat You spelled Caruso wrong. LOL

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

International soccer: The only sport where it matters where the referee was born and what their bloodline is. #ITAESP #MarioVSPicasso

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

The one when you pick it and still attached to it is this half mucous half water droplet that pulls at the very base of your brain and you feel that rush of cold fresh air hit your dome. So refreshing. That booger. That’s. That’s the one. #Booger 🧠

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

@Ritahhhh I feel attacked and special. #EspeciallyAttacked

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

@Ritahhhh @SportsCenter @netflix I love her positive attitude! Lol

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

I said years ago he would re-sign with the @Lakers and try to win with his SON. @KingJames @SportsCenter

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

How Lebron gets his statue in LA and cements legacy as greatest ever.

Year 1: Second Round exit

Years 2,3,4: 3-pete w/ Kawhi, gets to 6 chips. We think about calling him the GOAT

Year 5: Resigns with Lakers along with his SON. Become first father/son duo to win a chip together

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

When has a GOVERNMENT employee ever displayed quickness and efficiency at their job? Debbie is chattin’ away and taking breaks laughing at how “Dis whole country all waiting’ on lil ole Debbie”... Fucking Debbie.

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

For real. 2020 has been a shit year, one we’ll remember forever, but God damn October has been pretty great so far #Lakers #Dodgers

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

There’s too many people. Take out your grandparents. Mine our dead. I don’t care anymore #DontWearAMask

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

I get to work 15 minutes early every day to account for any possible delays. Got a SPEEDING ticket today and still got to work on time. Mission accomplished?

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

Benefits of wearing a mask, not looking like a crazy person as I walk through life winning all the fake arguments with my wife @Ritahhhh

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

@Ritahhhh “You don’t know how to love” -Nabiha Deir

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

I just know 2.5 years from now when this is all over. I’m gonna be crying on my way home from work just looking up... “For real... I just need another quarantine to get my shit together. Figure this shit out. Damn. I wonder what a baby bat taste like?” #CantWait

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

Easter; The day Jesus slapped YOLO in the face. #YOLO

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

Everyone’s new profile picture has to be this: The screenshot of the moment you open @Snapchat on the toilet in the morning and you see that “looking down, half asleep, double chin” selfie. This way I can tell what everyone truly looks like. #TrueSelfie

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

@taylortomlinson “Love is blind; lust is Helen Keller”

[Sammer Batarseh @TheGiantToddler]

@Ritahhhh @LawrysSeasoning #SammersDayOff